WHAT WE LOST AND WHAT WE GAINED IN 2020

2020 was an unimaginably difficult year for so many reasons. The year was shaping up to be a challenging one even before COVID because we had just moved to Ann Arbor in the summer of 2019 and were still quite unsettled. Any sense of disorientation was magnified several orders when the COVID pandemic began to rage in March, 2020.

It might be easier to list the ways in which COVID has not affected our lives, rather than the way it has. Our clinics shifted to virtual using the "Lombardy Model" based on the strategy used in Lombardy, Italy, one of the regions hit hardest early on. In Italy, they staggered the workforce in order to avoid exposing their entire medical teams at once - kind of like sending in different battalions of troops to take enemy fire at the front in shifts. Our clinic moved to that model, and for several weeks Kathleen and I had no in-person outpatient visits. 

The kids school was shut down as they made the switch to virtual or "zoom" school. Greenhills was still able to provide a decent learning experience for Nicholas. However, Cate's experience in Ann Arbor Public was definitely affected, especially since her regular teacher went out on maternity leave.

Much of our year has spent in front of screens and apart from those we love. Movies, concerts, and so much of the fun we took for granted shifted to online.

Restaurants - those that were not shuttered - shifted to carryout or delivery, and I cannot recall the last time I ate out in person.

Our democracy and institutions decayed under Trump and his collaborators in the Republican Party, and he somehow survived impeachment despite damning evidence. Fortunately, the voters' voices were heard on November 3, 2020, election day, also known as one of the happiest days of my life. Somehow, various functionaries did not cave to his demands as of this writing, and Joe Biden is set to become the 45th President in three weeks' time.

The saddest week of my family's life took place in September, 2020 when my teenage niece Jasmine ended her life. Words cannot convey the grief and pain of that week and the weeks that have followed. I came to realize that the only way through calamities such as this is through the love and empathy of others. So many people I know or my family knows were there for us in so many ways. I will never forget their kindness, and I will try to never take my family and children for granted. 

Going down to San Antonio during COVID to support Joselyn was the hardest thing I have ever done, but it is one of the things in my life that I am so glad to have done. Whatever small degree of comfort I may have provided to her and my family was far outweighed by the love I felt from them. Fortunately, I was able to see my mom, brother, and my dad - whom I had not seen in almost two years, as well.

Finally, we were plagued by power failures in 2019 in Ann Arbor. Therefore, we broke down and bought a generator for our house in 2020. However, fittingly for 2020 and the Michigan power grid, we experienced a power outage on our last night in Glen Arbor in our rental home for approximately five hours. 2020, man!

These are many of the things we lost, but we also found many things this past year. I worked on being a better husband and dad. Though, I still have a long way to go, I am encouraged that my family has stuck together and been a source of strength for each other.

Three of our federal grants were funded, and we added a new person to our lab. I made new friends at work and took on new leadership roles. 

My friend Kate introduced me to Marilynne Robinson and her Gilead series, which I have loved. My friend Pam introduced me to Mary Oliver, and I have begun to devour all of her poems. 

I think this Mary Oliver poem captures the essence of this tragedy-filled year. I can only hope that we come out of this year stronger and that we never take for granted our freedom, our health, and those we love. What else is more important in life?

THE VIEWS FROM UP NORTH

We recently wrapped up our trip Up North. It was breathtaking, and we will definitely head back there - hopefully with the pandemic well behind us next time!

PODIUM FINISHES

We wrapped up a great week in Glen Arbor, MI this week. Fortunately, there was sufficient snow for us to cross-country sky three times!

Kathleen was already an expert, but Nicholas, Cate, and I all improved. If I had to give the most improved award out, I would probably name myself! :)

Enjoy the second and third place finishers from our last day out!

CROSS COUNTRY

No, this post is not about a transcontinental trip. Rather, we went cross country skiing today here in Northern Michigan!

While Kathleen has been many times, the kids and I had only been once before one and a half years ago in Central Oregon during a vacation. However, with limited options for travel elsewhere in the country, we decided to embrace the Michigan winter and head "up north" for the chance to try cross country skiing again.

There was snow on the ground when we went out, but we definitely could have used a few more inches. Nonetheless, we were out for about an hour. Cate had been a super star the first time we went, but today she was a little sluggish - perhaps because she stayed up too late and woke up too early to do Minecraft with her friends!

Hopefully we'll get some more snow over the next few days and hit the trials again. If not, we'll surely take in the beauty of being up north!

LAKEVIEW

Yesterday, we drove "up north" to Northern Michigan for the first time for our first away from home vacation of 2020! We chose to go to Glen Arbor along Lake Michigan with the hope of some R&R and cross country skiing.

We booked a place in a resort called the Homestead and chose a view of Lake Michigan. When we looked out our bedroom window, we were greeted by this picture that looked more like an ocean view! We'll drink it in.

WHITE CHRISTMAS 2020

By usual standards, this has been a pretty light winter for snow. However, we were visited with a beautiful dusting of snow on Christmas morning! 

I went for my usual run, which was a little chilly.

Then it was time for the kids to open their gifts. Cate and Nicholas each received their World Wildlife Fund stuffed animals. Cate got an IPod Touch (Lord help us!). This is a trial device, and if she is responsible with it, we will think about a phone in a few years.

We connected with family by FaceTime later in the day. Though it was not the same as being there in person and seeing everyone, it was what we needed to do in a global pandemic.

Hopefully, we will get down to Texas for next Christmas, but this year we enjoyed our White Christmas!

ME IN 120 SECONDS

It is hard to believe that I have been a cancer researcher for 17 years now. During that time, I have worked in three medical centers and directed two laboratory teams - first in Portland and now in Ann Arbor. 

During that time, I have give innumerable presentations about our work. However, COVID has made all of our presentations virtual on formats like Zoom. While platforms like this have been invaluable for continued communication and "meetings," they do not take the place of a face to face meeting. Furthermore, staring into a screen and watching one's self can evoke a sense of self-consciousness. Simply put, I will try to minimize Zoom use when this pandemic is over!

Our cancer center recently put on a virtual retreat for basic scientists like me, and they asked us to record a two minute "elevator pitch." distilling our work down to the essential. Yes, I realize that these pitches are usually much shorter, but I used nearly every second of the allotted time for mine!

FAMILY PHOTO

We do not often take a family picture - mostly because we do not have a photographer beyond ourselves. 

I bought a ring light tripod this year for doing virtual visits with my phone and to have better lighting on zoom calls, so we decided to use that to take this beauty.

Coming to a holiday card near you, and yes Nicholas is now officially taller than me! 

GO HILLS!

This is Nicholas' second year of high school at Greenhills. He has really stepped up in his classes and is excelling academically. This is a big improvement over his first few weeks last year when he struggled to study effectively or take tests. This was understandable because Arbor did not have tests, and much of the schoolwork was communal. 

Nicholas has also been involved in several extracurriculars, including Mock Trial and Model UN. Indeed, he had a virtual Model UN event last weekend for which he dressed up both days. Kid looked pretty sharp!

Cate decided to join Greenhills this summer after initialing declining admission last spring. Thank goodness because the virtual experience at Greenhills has been fabulous. I just reviewed her first report card, and I was glad to see that Cate is stepping up and engaging her classmates and teachers online. Go Cate!

I feel very grateful to have found Greenhills and appreciate all their efforts in such difficult educational circumstances. As we say, Go Hills!

STRONG YARD SIGN GAME

Portland had a pretty strong yard sign game, and perhaps they do again this year. However, I have been so impressed by the yard signage in Ann Arbor. In addition to the homemade wooden yard signs with messages painted on, one of my favorites is shown below.

I thought it was particularly fitting that this sign was tilted and falling down - crooked, if you will, and just like the pathological liar and deeply flawed human being that Trump is.

Good riddance and bye Don!

A VERY BIG TREE

This past weekend we picked up a Christmas Tree at a local produce stand. For us, this is an annual event, but we went particularly big yesterday!

We brought out the decorations, and the tree has brought much light to the house. Happy holidays!

A GOOD DAY

We have had many hard, painful days this past year, but let’s not lose sight of how good yesterday December 14 was. 

Thousands of Americans were vaccinated with a vaccine using brand new technology that was developed in record time! That is a tribute to science.

 

An election was certified after one of the most disturbing and disruptive periods in our nation’s history! That is a tribute to the American people and all the civil servants and judges who rejected Trump's lies and attempts to subvert demoncracy. 

The sun shined especially brightly this morning, and I see brighter days ahead. It's about time!

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

It is no secret that Football Club Barcelona has been one of the loves of my life this past decade. However, the club has dropped so far in that time with countless embarrassing losses and examples of self-destruction.

Tonight's 3-0 loss to Juventus was the last straw. I am done and will not be watching this team play another game this season. 

It is a tremendous shame because the world's best player, Lionel Messi, has literally wasted away these last 5 years at Barca under their mismanagement, revolving door of hapless coaches, and inexeplicably bad and expensive transfers.

It breaks my heart to see this club fall apart, but I am not one to enjoy slow motion firing squads. Enough!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CATHERINE REESE!

I am a little late to getting this post celebrating Cate's 12th birthday up, but the last month has been crazy - between a global pandemic and the election of our lifetimes in 2020. That said, I want to celebrate my girl who began middle school and turned twelve this year. 

This summer Cate decided to change her mind and attend middle school at Nicholas' school, Greenhills. This was a relief because Greenhills had done such a great job in the spring. Cate seemed fairly engaged in school after it started, but that excitement, that spark seemed to be missing. I was worried that she was becoming disengaged. However, Greenhills decided to allow one grade at a time to come in for 2 days per month of in-person school. Cate came back from her first day beaming about how fun things were and how she kicked several home runs in kickball. That is the girl whom I know and love.

The pandemic has tested us all. Cate has remained positive this year. It has helped that her best friend and his younger brothers live across the street, and they play all the time outside.

Cate has also built new friendships through soccer and futsal, and she continues to excel at both. Her skills and ability to make quick decisions are really quite remarkable.

In so many ways, Cate is thriving and growing and developing into a remarkable young woman. I often find it challenging to give her the space and independence she craves because to do so is an acknowledgement that she is growing up and becoming less reliant on us. However, that is exactly what one should wish for one's kids.

So despite a difficult move and an even more difficult year, it is clear that Cate is one resilient kid. We could all learn quite a bit from her example. I for one will try to coax her out of her room when I can - to watch Jeopardy or play a game or just spend time with her. But when she says no, I'll understand. That's the age we're in.

PRESIDENT-ELECT JOE BIDEN

This blog started 12 years ago as mostly a political blog. Therefore, it was very fitting that today, Joseph Robinette Biden secured the necessary electoral votes in excess of 270 to become President-elect of the United States, defeating Donald Trump who became only the third incumbent president since World War II to lose the presidency. 

This campaign - more than any other campaign - was a war for the soul of a nation and who we are as people and who we wish to be. Joe Biden's running mate who is now the Vice-President-elect is emblematic of what this election was all about. She will become the first female Vice-President, the first African-American Vice President, and the first Indian-American Vice President. What a historic, groundbreaking achievement - an achievement that the American people enthusiastically accepted, rather than rejected.

More than any other election in my lifetime, I felt the gravity of this moment. Four years of greed, corruption, malfeasance, and ineptitude coupled with a Republican Senate and the courts that enabled him every step of the way laid the foundation for the worst four years of the nation in my lifetime. Our international reputation is in tatters. COVID viral infections are out of control. The economy has collapsed, and even before that income inequality was at an all time high. Racial injustice and acts of violence against African-Americans are now center stage and captured on film, brining to light the rampant extent of systemic racism. These are not just Donald Trump's sins; they are the sins of this nation and its broken promises on so many fronts.

Joe Biden will inherit multiple crises on day one, but I am confident that there is no one better-prepared to tackle these challenges. Joe knows how Washington and governing work. He believes that perfect is the enemy of the good, and he will re-assemble a civil service comprised of well-qualified men and women who will bring stability and solutions to government.

For this presidency to succeed and for our nation to succeed, Joe will not be able to turn things around himself. He will need all of our help. Count me in! 

I said several times leading up to today that I would never ask for anything again if Joe won and Trump was defeated. I meant that, and I will never take for our freedom or the fragility of our democracy for granted. I hope you feel the same. 

CASTE

Inspired by the Black Lives Matter protest, we recently started a Diversity and Equity Book Club at work. The first book selection was Caste: The Origin of our Discontents by Isabel Wilkerson. It was a fitting first book because it charts the history of casteism in the US and beyond, including the country with the longest and most-engrained caste culture - India.

Not to be undone, the United States has taken caste to a whole new level, and those who are black and brown are relegated to the lowest rungs of our society.

Casteism is different than racism because it is not just based on one's race. It is based on the belief that even those who are black and brown and educated or seemingly accomplished should remain in their place. No ascension is possible if one comes from the lowest caste, to which one is doomed by one's skin color and the history of one's ancestors who were the original members of the lowest caste.

The authors describes that the caste system does not come about by accident. Rather, those at the top of the caste system diligently work to keep those in the lowest caste in their place. This includes both wealthy whites, who are at the top of the ladder, but also poor whites. The latter group may not be economically superior to those in the lowest caste, but they feel superior because of their historical origins in the U.S.

Caste is not an easy book to read, but it is an urgent book. You will read no book this year that makes you question how unfair that country has been since its founding and that hopefully motivates you to do something about it. 

SWINGING INTO WINTER

We are fortunate to have a wonderful neighbor behind. Her kids are a few years older than us, and she knows this town like the back of her hand, having grown up here. A few weeks ago we spent a few hours in the backyard sharing a socially-distanced bottle of wine.

Fortunately, she also has a swing in her backyard that her kids no longer use. No worry because our kids - especially Cate - put the swing to very good use.

On a rather blustery day that felt like the first day of winter, the kids decided to break their Sunday indoors hibernation and partake of the swing.

Fun was had by all, especially when a frisbee was thrown into the mix!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

The pandemic has affected nearly every aspect of our lives, and Halloween was no exception. 

Fortunately, there was still trick or treating, though it was different this year. We and others placed candy in small plastic bags at the end of their driveway. For the kids, it was candy, nonetheless.

My little one went as Maverick from Top Gun! Pretty darn cute, if I do say so myself! Happy Halloween!

TRANSITIONS

Transitions and disruptions in life are inevitable, yet why do we find them so uncomfortable? I think it is the feeling of impotence and sense that we are no longer in charge of our destiny.

My family and your's have felt transition's wrath this past year with the COVID pandemic. Throw a cross-country move, new jobs, and new schools into the mix, too, and one is left feeling quite lost.

However, transitions are not cause for despair. Transitions are an opportunity to redefine one's self and to chart a new path. I was willing to give up my life back in Portland because I felt as though the opportunity to lead and grow and be surrounded by people like myself would never come. 

Finding a community of individuals who wanted to make the biggest difference possible for patients with cancer and who were equipped to achieve that goal was worth the transition. I have found what I was looking for, but I have also found frustration, sadness, and a good dose of humility. Nonetheless, this year has shaped me into the man I am today. I am stronger, wiser, and more capable than I would have been after a lifetime spent in my old life. 

For me, this move was the best decision I have made, despite how hard things have been. It does not hurt that we had some major successes this year in the lab and that my team is starting to trust me and take shape. I hope the next years can bring that same sense of cohesion in my family life and personal life.

This bring me to a wonderful article by Arthur Brooks in the Atlantic, entitled, "The Clocklike Regularity of Major Life Changes" from his column, "How to Build a Life." It gives a thorough overview of why transitions are so painful and how we can make the most of them. Instead of raging against what is happening to you, Brooks suggests we adjust and adapt. In adaptation, comes purpose and strength. There really is no other option if one wishes to move forward. 

I hope you find some solace in the article. Also check out the related podcast from Brooks, entitled, "The Falling Tides of Life." I wish you peace in your own transition.

TED LASSO

Nicholas and I started watching a new show on Apple TV called "Ted Lasso," starring Jason Sudeikis. The character first appeared in 2013 in advertisements for NBC as it was starting its coverage of the Premier League. In these commercials, Ted Lasso was an American football coach hired to coach the English football (soccer) club Tottenham Hotspur. He was completely out of his element, and hilarity ensued in these short spots.

The TV series features the same character, only this time he is recruited to the UK to AFC (Athletic/Football Club) Richmond from Kansas. While the show is nominally about football, it is about so much more. Initially, the show started off with a fish out of water element, but it quickly pivoted towards the importance of human connection and understanding. I cannot recommend it strongly enough, particularly in the time of COVID, shutdowns, and very few in-person sports.

Check it out, mate!

DRIVER'S ED

I have limited memories of learning to drive. Partly, this is due to age, but I also recall that learning to drive was rather traumatic. Which brings me to Nicholas, who recently completed his driver's ed class and is now behind the wheel.

He had driven on several occasions with Kathleen, and this had gone reasonably well. A few weeks back, I picked him up from practice and suggested he drive home. He was a little hesitant because he had only practiced on my car, but I encouraged him to do it anyway.

The unfamiliarity of my car coupled with the time of day - it was dusk - did not make for a good combination. After about one-quarter mile, he approached a traffic circle. While he steered around the circle, he failed to turn the wheel. The car continued straight right into a sign and onto a curb. He and I were in shock. To say I lost my cool would be an understatement. 

I quickly got behind the wheel, backed up off the curb, and started to drive home. I noticed the car was veering and eventually pulled over. Sure enough, the tire thah had struck the curb was flat. After unsuccessfully trying to unfasten the spare tire from the trunk - it was bolted down too tightly - we called AAA, who saved the day. After that, and I think we were all a little shell-shocked, though Nicholas did go back out once or twice with Kathleen.

Today, though, I suggested we go out again. It was the middle of the day with plenty of light. I drove to start and gave some pointers. Then, we headed to a parking lot, which is where I first learned to drive. Nicholas did several loops, practicing parking, and backing up. It went super well. I drove on the roads on the way home, and we reviewed what we had learned.

Life is not about the straight and arrow. It is about failure and picking one's self up, learning, and moving forward. I know Nicholas will get there with a little help and patience from us!

REST IN PEACE RBG

Ruth Bader Ginsberg died last night after her third cancer diagnosis - most recently pancreatic cancer. She was a defender of justice and equal rights, and it is hard to imagine the Court every having someone as deeply committed to those without a voice than her.

There have been innumerable tributes to her, but I found this one particularly touching. It was written by NPR's judicial correspondent Nina Totenberg who became friends with Justice Ginsberg after many years of covering her on the Supreme Court. What a life.

While I was quite distraught at the thought of Republicans hypocrtically filling her seat before election despite denying President Obama that same privilege nine months before the election, I have now become more clear-eyed. We may lose this Supreme Court seat, but much more is at stake in the next 45 days before the election: the continuation of our democracy.

Ask yourself each morning: what have I done to turn back the tide and to preserve all that RBG and this nation stand for? There is so much work to do, and we have to start now.

One way to get involved is donating to organizations like ActBlue. I just gave them a donation today. Another thing several of our friends have done is to write postcards to voters. Writing is one thing I know how to do, and everyone loves to received mail...when the Post Office is allowed to deliver it.

Let's do all we can to pay tribute to RBG. Hopefully we'll say the country in the process!

THE END

It was an utter humiliation - the end of an era. Barca were battered 8-2 by Bayern Munich in the quarterfinals of the Champions League. Rory Smith called it the end, and sadly that description feels very apt.

In retrospect, we should have all seen this shameful defeat and the end of Barca's dominance on the European stage coming. In 2018, Barca were eliminated by Roma, losing 3-0. In 2019, Liverpool sent the Catalans home after winning 4-0. However, 8-2 seemed unthinkable when the two teams lined up yesterday.

Both teams started off strong, and Barca could have easily been up in the first 20 minutes. However, their chances went begging, and Bayern ruthlessly took advantage of a Barca team that looked a shell of its former self - a team that created far too many unforced errors.

The coach and his player selection and tactics played a role, and he will be gone soon enough. The players were the ones who made the mistakes though and did not respond properly. Many of them will be gone, too. However, the problems run far deeper and go to the very top - the President and the Board. It is they who have squandered the past decade, buying expensive players who were ill-suited to the Barca team. It is they who failed to unload players - albeit beloved players - before their "sell by" date. There were far too many Barca players last night on the wrong side of 30, and they were the biggest culprits in the capitulation.

The club's motto is "More than a club," but Barca are not even half the club they once were. The possession-based, pass and move, high-press style has been gone for years as the club shifted into a counterattacking style. This is explained in part by the fact that Barca's prior style is hard to maintain, especially with an aging squad. That is why the ethos of the club and its philosophy must always take primacy versus the players - no matter how beloved they are. The failure to renew the squad and unload their wages is perhaps even more sinful than the Board's profligate spending on the wrong transfers.

In the end, perhaps 8-2 is the wake-up call that the club needs because the humiliating defeats in Europe in the past two years have clearly not brought about the changes the club needs.

This time feels different though. It feels as though I have watched a loved one die a slow, painful death from a chronic disease that was preventable. Death is a part of life, but I pray there will be an afterlife for my club. 

EARLY RISER

I generally wake up at 6AM everyday so I can go out for a run before work. Today - when I woke up - I saw Cate's light on in her room. When I entered her room, I found her light on and her at work on her computer. I was dumbfounded since Cate usually sleeps in until at least 730.

Recently, Cate let us know that she wanted to switch schools next year and go to the same private school as Nicholas after passing up her acceptance there in the Spring. It turned out that many of her friends from her public elementary had decided not to go to the local public middle school. Though Cate would not provide any more rationale for her decision, I believe that the quality of her online learning experience last spring also played a role.

Fortunately, Cate was able to get in and was asked to take a math placement test to determine the best 6ht grade math class. While she was supposed to take one hour, Cate flew through the test in 28 minutes. Needless to say, after I reviewed the test she submitted, it was clear that Cate missed many of the questions. I sat down with her and spent an hour and a half going through every question. It was clear that Cate did not seem to grasp the concepts. 

Because of this, I told Cate I wanted her to spend an hour per day on the Kahn Academy "Getting Ready for 6th grade math" section. She has dutifully obliged. In fact, that is what she was working on this AM. When I asked her why she was up so early, she replied that she had soccer camp during the day and that this is the only time she could get it done. I felt quite guilty at hearing that and was upset that I was depriving her of sleep.

I told Cate that she could just do 30 minutes per day this week because she was in camp and that getting a good nights rest was very important. Cate expressed understanding and came down for breakfast an hour later - her usual eggo waffles with Nutella - and then she was off to camp.

I love my little worker bee, but I hope she can get some rest and get her math work in!

THE MEANING OF KAMALA

The literal meaning of the word "kamala" is lotus or pale red, but Kamala (Harris) means so much more. By naming her - an Indian and Black American - the Democratic Vice Presidential nominee Joe Biden shattered a new glass ceiling. He also inspired people of all ages from those racial groups and beyond to believe that anything is possible. This may sound like hyperbole, but I never believed that an Indian-American would be on a Presidential ticket. This is because Indian-Americans have always been viewed as exotic or foreign, no matter their achievements or roles in society.

I felt this discrimination firsthand while growing up when bullies racially abused me, teachers butchered my name time and time again, and people asked, "Where are you from? And I don't mean New York. I mean where are you really from?" However, close-mindedness lost yesterday when Joe Biden had the strength and courage to nominate one of the most qualified Vice Presidential candidates in history, who just happened to be Indian- and African-American.

Though Nicholas and Cate view themselves as more brown than white, I do not think they fully grasp what this moment means. They just see an exciting, qualified candidate who is getting her chance. Perhaps that is what progress looks like? 

Progress, excitement, opportunity. Whatever you want to call it, I'll take it. Biden-Harris 2020!

THE LONG ROAD

Today, I experienced two firsts in clinic since joining my new institution. My nurse alerted me that one of my patients had died. Later that day, I had to tell a patient and his wife that his cancer was progressing and that we had no more treatment options to slow down his cancer.

Obviously, I have dealt with these issues before, but COVID makes these experiences so much more challenging with the need to distance, the inability to talk face to face, and because it is unsafe to hug or console patients.

In such times, our words and how we deliver them become even more important. Therefore, I tried my best to listen to the concerns of these families and to express the sadness I felt at not being able to do more. 

We often congratulate ourselves for our professional victories: a new grant funded a new manuscript accepted. However, we should measure success by the quality and quantity of our patients' lives. That is why we come to work, and if we are not moving the needle on that, then everything else we do is insignificant.

As sad as today was, I will carry these feelings with me tomorrow and each day moving forward. These tragedies are a reminder of how much more we have to do. I, for one, am ready for this fight.

TASTE THE NATION

Recently, I finished a new show on Hulu called Taste the Nation hosted by the model and Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi. In the show, Ms. Lakshmi travels around the country and meets with different immigrant or racial groups that have brought their unique traditions and cuisine to the country.

The show takes us to all four corners and the history behind so many mouth-watering dishes - from burritos, sausages, and Chinese and Indian food. Needless to say, the show is hunger-inducing, but the best part is realizing how our strength in this country is our diversity.

Despite this president's best efforts, he will not fail to divide us. This is because there is more that we share than that separates us. At least, I hope so.

Check out the show and be prepared to cook or get takeout after having your appetite worked up.

HAMILTON

Tonight we watched an original Hamilton cast performance on Disney Plus. We had seen a performance of the Chicago cast three years ago and own the original cast recording, but seeing this performance with Lin-Manuel Miranda and the original gang was extra special.

The musical was inspired by the biography of Hamilton by Ron Chernow and tells the story of Alexander Hamilton, the nation's first Treasury Secretary. Hamilton was much more than that, however. He was an orphan who fled poverty in the West Indies and came to this country as an immigrant. He worked his way up first as an aide to then General Washington and became a key defender of the Constitution, writing the Federalist Papers. He was driven and the musical talks about how prolific a writer he was and how he "wrote like he was running out of time." He appears to have been one of the nation's original workaholics and always put excellence and strengthening the country first.

Like many ambitious men, he had his failings, including infidelity and was ensared in an affair that culminated in blackmail and secret payoffs. When the payoffs came to light, and Hamilton was accused of embezzling federal funds, he decided to come clean and tell the truth in order to save his public reputation despite the fact that it would tarnish his private and family life. This paradoxical event says a lot about Hamilton's sense of right and wrong and how he valued the truth above all.

If you've not seen Hamilton, check it out on Disney Plus. Here is a performance of the original cast for President Obama at the White House. Enjoy!

NEW NORMAL

Many days I am simply blown away by my children's response to the pandemic and their ability to adjust and continue to go about their lives. A good example is Nicholas and his recent driver's ed class.

We first heard about this class from the parents of some of his friends who had signed their kids up. We were late to the party, and unfortunately the class his friends were attending filled up. We were able to get Nicholas into another class, but he did not know anyone in that class.

Despite the fact that this was an in person class with behind the wheel driving during COVID, Nicholas was undaunted. When I dropped him off, he dutifully put on his mask without prompting and headed to the driver's studio in a strip mall. We were early, so I waited in the car. However, he told me I did not need to stay and encouraged me to go home by text message.

As I looked on at the scene of my young, masked boy ready to go to class and get behind the wheel of a car, I could not help but do a double take. What a strange, strange world we find ourselves in, but what a brave, composed son I have.

Some days, I am just blown away by how different our lives are and how we just keep going. Here is Cate eating her Cookie Monster ice cream with matching blue face mask.

Nicholas' and Cate's fortitude is something to behold, indeed, and I will try to remember their example as I navigate my own challenges - not only during this pandemic but well afterwards.

PROFILES IN RESILIENCE

I have thought a lot about resilience lately - what with a global pandemic, economic collapse, and schools and my lab shuttered for three months. 

Today's New York Times had a very thought-provoking essay on this topic that I highly recommend. In summary, the author contends that our childhood experiences, our close personal connections, and our sense of purpose make a great difference on how resiliently we behave. It reminded me of Viktor Frankl's wonderful book, "Man's Search for Meaning."

Frankl was an Austrian psychiatrist. All his life, he found himself asking, "What do I want from life." When he was imprisoned by the Nazis and taken to Auschwitz, he quickly realized that that being there was not really what he had asked for in life. However, he used his time in the camp to understand human survival amidst tragedy and adversity and take his life and work in a new direction. He had modified his perspective to ask, "What was life asking of me?"

I received another inspiring message from the wife of a former patient from Oregon this week. She wrote to let me know that he husband had finally passed away around Easter and that she had struggled with writing to let me know.

Ultimately, she decided to compose the message below:

Dear Joshi,

I hope this finds you and your family safe and happy in your new home and careers. I have composed this letter many times over - and still there is no easy way to tell you that --- made his transition from this life in April on Easter Sunday. Without sounding like a Hallmark card or too maudlin I want to express what your presence in this journey meant to us.

More than your guidance and kind, loving care, you infused each meeting with a sense of calm. --- came away from every appointment with that calm, feeling empowered and hopeful. At our first introduction you explained that this cancer would allow --- the time to do the things and be with the people that mattered most to him. He took that to heart. --- was able to be available to his disabled daughter during a very difficult time in her life. He also connected with several old friends --- some going back almost sixty years. They all came away with their lives enriched by each other. And we made sure that our time together was quality time. Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It is about learning to dance in the rain. We danced in the rain.

Thank you does not begin to express my gratitude for who you are and in our lives. Blessings to you and all those you love.

Much love,

---

The part about the storm and dancing in the rain had me in tears. I had thought that it was my job to comfort her, and yet her words were like a salve in a deep and festering wound and a good reminder for us all to stay positive and keep going.

I called her a day after receiving her message. It was like talking to an old friend. With her permission, I shared her message with my lab team, and I also shared the beautiful words about the storm and the rain on social media. Needless to say, people were blown away.

We find a way to survive – not by ourselves – but with the help of others. Here’s to passing it on.

FIRST SHAVE

For the past nine months, facial hair has been slowly growing on Nicholas' chin, his upper lip, and near the sideburns. Things seemed to have taken off during COVID, so we finally decided to shave it off last weekend.

I can still remember the first time I shaved. It was tenth grade, and I, too, looked like I was sporting a hairlip. It felt good to finally clean it up, and Nicholas expressed similar excitement - though also a little trepidation -  about going under the blade.

First, we washed his face in hot water to make the hair stand by. Next, I lathered up my brush with shave soap and applied a few coats. Finally, I used my trusty Gillette to shave him. I did the sides first, then the upper lip and chin. Finally, I did the neck and chin, pointing out what I was doing with each step. Fortunately, I did not draw blood, and he did not shed tears. He looks like a new man! See for yourself!

The shave kit we ordered for him came in a few days ago, but so far we have not had to re-shave. When it is time, I will give Nicholas the honors.

What a milestone for this young man. Fourteen going on fifteen. I am going to cry!

MY HERO

Yesterday, we learned that Nicholas was one of four freshman honored with the Greenhills Award given annually to those students in each grade who "best demonstrate the Greenhills core values of respect, trust, and responsibility as well as the four qualities included in the school's mission statement: intellectual, ethical, artistic, and athletic potential."

While I am not surprised that Nicholas was honored with such an award, it is remarkable because he has only been at the school for eight months, and three of those months have been during distance learning. Those facts make this recognition even more special because Nicholas clearly made an impression on the students who nominated him and the teachers who supported that nomination.

When we decided to move from Portland to Ann Arbor, Nicholas was not excited about the prospect of leaving the only place he ever had ever known and where he had very deep roots. However, he remained positive and never took out his frustrations of starting over on me. His sweetness and resilience are truly remarkable, and how he has handled this stressful re-start has given me strength.

I have never met a kinder, more curious, or passionate person than Nicholas. I consider him my best friend, and I hope we always stay close. I will cherish the past three months at home with him several days of the week and will enjoy every moment we have together.

Here's to Nicholas!

I CAN'T BREATHE

Last week, America witnessed another horrific murder of an African-American man at the hands of the police. George Floyd was the man's name, and he was murdered in cold blood by Minneapolis police officers. Fortunately - or rather horrifically - someone recorded the killing, and this slow, drawn-out murder has been played millions of times in the past week.

This killing was different from other killings of African-Americans, which have become much too commonplace. What made it different was the outpouring of disgust, outrage, and protest by people of all races - not just African-Americans.

To watch the protests each night is to watch the melting pot that makes this country great. People of all races and creeds - nearly all young - have taken over the streets in cities across the country. As of tonight, there had been a protest in every state in the nation, despite the fact that this killing occurred in Minneapolis.

What accounts for this sea change? I think it is because white Americans were finally able to watch in slow motion as a black man was assassinated with impunity by a man whose job was to keep the peace, not break the peace, I think it is because the coronavirus pandemic has taught us not just that we are all contagious but also that we are all connected. African-American have been the disproportionate victims of the virus, just as they have been the predominant victims of oppression in this country. At some point, enough becomes enough, and we are at that moment.

I hope that we see fundamental structural change in our policing, our understanding of one another, and most of all our politics. Now is the time to raise of voices and to be heard. Let this be the beginning of a national reckoning with our tainted past of racial injustice, and let this please spell the end of the current presidency.

WHAT WE LOSE WHEN THERE'S NO LOSING

Since COVID hit, sports of all kinds - professional, kids, adult recreational - have all been shut down. Given the challenges we face in public health and the economy, this may seem like a small thing. However, sports are more than a part of many of our lives. For me, sports are about suffering, adversity, resilience, community, common cause, triumph, and never giving up. Simply put, sports are life.

This American Life, one of the pre-eminent podcasts of our time, broadcast en episode about sports this week entitled, "Time Out." It might just be my favorite episode from them and features four stories about sports and what they meant to different people's lives. I will let you guess which is my favorite (Hint: it involves a father's and son's shared love for a game with a round ball)! After you listen to the podcast, check out a short video about segment number three and a father's passion for soccer, even if only "imaginary soccer."

These stories felt like a salve on a wound or a burn where healing and recovery seem very far off in the distance. I will relish these stories and memories of sports events that have moved me until sports are back in full.

That the German Bundesliga is back in action and that European soccer is set to resume soon gives me hope that it might be safe to begin some of our normal routines. I pray that things go smoothly for these players and for all of us who want to get back to life and sports.

UNSOCIAL DISTANCING

This week we navigated a new issue in the COVID era - how to interact with friends while staying safe.

Cate is very close friends with three boys in a family across the street, including one of her classmates. In normal times, they spend most days playing together outside. However, COVID put a dramatic end to those activities.

In recent weeks, the kids had been doing social distancing bike rides. Slowly, we noticed that the distance was shrinking and that the kids were often right next to each other. We talked with Cate about this, but she assured us that they would be more careful.

However, we noticed that the physicial proximity continued to be a "problem." I put that last word in quotes because these children were doing nothing abnormal, but they were behaving in a pre-COVID way. Ultimately, we talked to Cate about the need to wear a mask outside around them. This upset her quite a bit understandably. Despite trying to reason with her, Cate remained quite upset. Kathleen decided to talk to the other family, and they, too, expressed their concerns about the lack of social distancing. Ultimately, we decided that the kids could only play together for now if they were on opposite sides of the street.

Today, there was lots of remote control car racing with kids stationed in camp chairs across the street. Though there were a few crashes, there were no complaints.

I cannot wait for this pandemic to end. Things like being close to others, touching, being physical may not be necessary, but they sure are sustaining. We'll get there. Until then, we'll be safe.

FOOTBALL's BACK!

Ten years ago, I became a "born-again" soccer fan. Though I came to the game late in life in my mid-thirties, I quickly fell in love. So much so that I began to watch the game religiously and even began to play it.

I have always loved sports, but there was something special about soccer - its fluidity, its beauty, and the fact that only teams that are well-connected and cohesive on the pitch succeed. In many ways, soccer is like life. Because of that, soccer - like many other "non-essential" activities - took a hiatus when COVID hit. Leagues throughout the world quickly shut down, and there appeared to be no end in sight.

That dread and uncertainty made today's restart of the German Bundesliga - the first top league to restart - such a momentous occasion. Nicholas and I woke early to watch the game together, like we used to do pre-COVID and when I first fell in love with the game. While the stands were empty and the players walked in separately donning masks, the game was as beautiful as ever - perhaps more so despite the players being a little out of practice.

We watched Borussia Dortmund take on Schalke 04 in a rivalry match known as the Ruhr Derby. Four goals were put in the net - all by Dortmund - and some were truly magnificent. I hope that this restart is successful and that other top leagues like La Liga, where Barca plays, will soon follow.

They say you do not know what you have until it is gone. I certainly appreciate that phrase much more and am so glad to see football return!

RUNNING THROUGH THE VIRUS

I have enjoyed running for the past 22 years. During that time, I have always run several times per week with the exception of periods of injury. However, my running has stepped up since the COVID pandemic shut down my gym, and I have been running every morning.

My route is the same most mornings - a 2.8 mile out and back that includes a loop around Gallup Park and the Huron River near our neighborhood. Most mornings, I see the same people, who - like me - are probably just trying to get in their exercise early and clear their heads. Indeed, the main reason I run is to unwind and just focus on putting one foot in front of the other - generally as fast as I can!

Running has meant so much to me, and it feels like a form of resistance to the imposition this virus has placed on our lives. I do not wear a mask when I run, but I do go out of my way, literally, to avoid other people so that I will not infect them or become infected by them. That etiquette is generally reciprocal as we each pound out one step after another.

The New York Times had a nice article about Running Toward a New World complete with illustrations by Elisha Cooper - some of which are shown below. COVID notwithstanding, I will continue to run in this new world.

PULLING IN

Cate has never been one for co-sleeping, or pulling into our bed. However, in the past few weeks since quarantine, she has become a frequent flier in our bed, which is thankfully a king.

I cannot explain what motivates this change. Perhaps it is the increasing number of movies - some of which are suspenseful - that we have been watching. Another more plausible explanation is that she - like all of us - is just a little unsettled by what has happened to the world and our lives during COVID. Fortunately, she does not kick like she used to, and she does keep the bed warm.

We have also taken this as an opporunity to read together, an activity that has been reserved for her and Kathleen. We finished "Tex" by S.E. Hinton, and we've moved on to "The Plague" by Camus.  I will miss this little snuggler when she decides to eventually pull out of bed. Until then, the middle spot is hers!

CATE THE CRITIC

As I mentioned, Cate and I have become movie buddies. What I didn't know was that she has also turned into a little movie critic. Here is her first review for one of her favorites, "Knives Out"!

The 2 hour 10 minute movie Knives Out is a brilliant mystery that takes you through lots of plot twists and turns. The well known director Rian Johnson the director of Star Wars The Last Jedi selected an allstar cast for Knives Out including Ana De Armas as Marta Cabrera, Daniel Craig as investigator Benoit Blanc, and Chris Evans as Hugh Ransom Thrombey.

Overall I would give the film 98 on the tomatometer, and that’s as close to a hundred it’s going to get for me! The plot is one of the best I have ever seen and it keeps you on the edge of your seat. The only thing that I would change a bit is the start. Although there is an unexpected death early on, the subsequent detective interviews can be a bit of a sleeper. It is very important to the plot so you should listen carefully because the rest of the movie won’t make sense if you don’t. After that there is no more leaning back in your chair and relaxing because things will start to happen and they will boost you out of your seat.

For a bit of background the movie takes place in the mansion of a famous writer named Harlan Thrombey(Christophor Plummer) .We learn about a big extended family. He has two living, grown children named Linda Drysdale(Jamie Lee Curtis) and Walt Thrombey(Micheal Shannon). His 3rd son Neil Thrombey died but Neil’s wife Joni Thrombey(Toni Collete) still lives with the family.

Linda is the oldest of the two children and is a self made businesswoman-though with a little help from her dad. She is married to Richard Drysdale(Don Johnson) and he works for Linda's company. Their child Hugh Ransom Drysdale is best known to the family by his middle name Ransom. Almost no one in the family likes him because he never takes any responsibility and just wants to live a life of wealth and pleasure.

Walt Thrombey runs his father's publishing company. Harlan wishes that Walt would become more self reliant and start his own business. Walt is married to Donna Thrombey(Riki Lindhome) and Donna is very uptight and afraid of lots of things in the world. Walt and Donna have a son named Jacob Thrombey(Jaeden Martell) who is a strange boy and his family is worried about him becoming a member of the alt-right.

The wife of Harlan's dead son, Neil’s, is Joni. She is an instagram influencer who mostly lives off of Harlan’s money. Joni has a daughter named Meg Thrombey(Katherine Langford) who goes to a very good private school paid for-ofcourse Harlan.

Also at the house of Harlan Thrombey is his close friend and nurse named Marta. Although she doesn’t live with them, she usually stays late before Harlan goes to bed to give him his pills. The Thrombeys call Marta family even though almost none of them can remember what country her family is from. One thing about Marta is she has a very hard time lying. Also the Thrombey’s housekeeper, Fran(Edi Patterson),  plays a crucial role in the film and is at the house quite a lot. 

Investigating the case for the local police are Lieutenant Elliot(Lakeith Stanfield) and Trooper Wagner(Noah Segan). Most importantly a private investigator named Benoit Blanc is also on the case. Benoit, being in a New Yorker article that almost everyone in the family had seen, was sent an envelope of money and a note saying that the mysterious sender wanted him to investigate Harlan’s death.

Finally there is Harlan’s elderly grandmother(K Callan) who can barely walk but plays an important role also in the plot.

I am sure you will enjoy this brilliant, entertaining, film. It was like being on a plot roller coaster and never being able to get off.

Cate

BOURNE AGAIN!

We have been watching a lot of movies during the coronavirus pandemic, and Cate has been my little movie buddy.

We watched all the Jason Bourne movies over the course of a weekend. This led to a Matt Damon fascination and Good Will Hunting last night. The trend might continue with a detour to Minnie Driver and Circle of Friends. Such is the life of the quarantined movie watcher!

Ordinarily, we all retire to our own corners of the house to watch our own screens. Therefore, communal TV watching has been a pleasant surprise. I will miss this togetherness when this pandemic ends!

FOR THE BIRDS

Spring brings a return of migratory birds, but Michigan is on another plain. Our backyard appears to be ground zero, and I have seen and heard so many different species. There have been countless red-breasted robins and a few cardinals, which are absolutely striking. One is shown below. Sorry I could not get a close up, but he flew away when Cate got too close.

While we were playing frisbee in the back, we also heard some pecking. We quickly followed the sound to our neighbors' house behind us. We spotted a woodpecker hammering away at a tree. It was a beautiful sight!

I will miss these sweet creatures when they fly south next winter. Until then, I will take notice of them and enjoy their company.

QUOTES TO PONDER

Cate sometimes joins me at work and always finds something to keep her occupied. This past weekend she decided to pull her favorite quotes from a book of quotes in my office. Enjoy!

Quotes To Ponder

By Cate Alumkal

If plan “a” doesn’t work don’t worry because the alphabet has 25 more letters.

~Unknown

It’s not the load you carry that breaks you down it’s how you choose to carry it.

~C.S Lewis

The purpose of life is a purpose.

~Robert Byrne

Making a million friends is not a miracle…the miracle is to make such a friend who will stand with you when millions stand against.

~Unknown

Fall seven times stand up eight.

~Japanese Proverb

Courage is found in unlikely places.

J.R.R Tolkien

Shoot for the moon because even if you miss you will land among the stars.

~Les Brown

Life is not measured by the breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away.

~Unknown

At the end of the game pawns and kings go back in the same box.

~Italian Proverb

The best things in life are not things.

~Ginny Moore

Believe you can and your halfway there.

~Theodore Roosevelt 

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice saying I will try again

        tomorrow.

~Mary Anne Radmacker

You don’t get any harmony if everyone sings the same note.

~Doug Lloyd

It always seems impossible until it is done.

~Nelson Mandela

A stumble may prevent a fall.

~English Proverb

Kindness, like a boomerang always comes back.

~Unknown

Sometimes rejection is just redirection.

~Travis Smiley

Don’t cry because something is over smile because it happened.

~Dr. Seuss

Normal is a setting on a washing machine.

~Unknown

Even the darkest hour is only sixty minutes.

~Morris Mandel

Good friends are like stars. You don’t always see them, but you always know they are there.

~Unknown

When life gives you lemons make orange juice.

~Unknown

My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.

~Dalai Lama

If you’re lucky enough to be different, don’t ever change.

~Taylor Swift

Don’t tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon.

~Paul Brandt

The best things in life are not things.

~Ginny Moore

The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.

~Paul Valery

Not all those who wander are lost.

J.R.R Tolkien

Be yourself everyone else is already taken.

~Oscar Wilde

Fate doesn’t decide- you do.

~Dominic

I expect to pass through this world but once. Any good therefore, that I can do or any kindness I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now. Let me not defer it or neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again.

~Stephen Grellet

Give me a firm place to stand, and I will move the earth.

~Archimedes

Everything you can imagine is real.

~Pablo Picasso

Man can learn nothing unless he proceeds from the known to the unknown.

~Claude Bernard

To be loved, be lovable.

~Ovid

Whatever you are be a good one.

~Abraham Lincoln

Hard work beats talent when talent doesn’t work hard.

~Shreya

When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hold on.

~Thomas Jefferson

There are no shortcuts to any place worth going to.

~Beverly Sills

When it is dark be the one who turns on the light.

~Unknown

Fortune favors the bold.

~Virgil

Kindness is difficult to give away because it keeps on coming back.

~Marcel Proust

By perseverance the snail reached the arc.

~Charles Spurgeon

Learn as if you were to live forever, live as if you were to die tomorrow.

~Mahatma Ghandi

I’ve learned that life is like a book. Sometimes we must close a chapter and begin the next one.

~Unknown

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.

~Martin Luther King Jr.

Among life’s quests, there seems but worthy one: To do men good.

~Gamaliel Bailey

We didn’t all come over on the same ship, but were all in the same boat.

~Bernard Baruch

Let us always meet each other with a genuine smile.

~Mother Teresa

No man is an island entire of itself.

~John Danne

To be able to look back upon one’s life in satisfaction is to live twice.

~Kahlil Gibran

If the wind will not serve, take the oars.

~Latin Proverb

For kindness begets kindness evermore.

~Sophocles

Kind words do not cost much yet they accomplice much.

~Blaise Pascal

Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Life is a ticket to the greatest show on earth.

~Martin H. Fischer

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of that single candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.

~Bukkyo Dendo Kyokai-Teachings of Buddha

Good actions are the invisible hinges on the doors of heaven.

~Victor Hugo

Your best takes your time.

~Unknown

The man who moves a mountain must start by moving small stones.

~Chinese Proverb

Paradise on earth is where I am.

~Voltaire

Be kind whenever it is possible. It is always possible.

~Dalai Lama

‘Tis always morning somewhere in the world.

~Richard Henry Hengist Horne

Be the change you want to see in the world.

~Mahatma Gandhi

He was a bold man that first ate an oyster.

~Johnathan Swift

The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
~Jimmy Johnson

If you fight fire with fire the world will go up in smoke.

~Lemony Snicket

Even the toughest dogs are afraid of vacuums.

~Unknown

Most of these quotes are from a book called “365 Days of Wonder” written by R.J Palacio.

In the book see page March 18^th

J.R.R stands for John Ronald Reuel (J.R.R Tolkien)