TRANSITIONS

Transitions and disruptions in life are inevitable, yet why do we find them so uncomfortable? I think it is the feeling of impotence and sense that we are no longer in charge of our destiny.

My family and your's have felt transition's wrath this past year with the COVID pandemic. Throw a cross-country move, new jobs, and new schools into the mix, too, and one is left feeling quite lost.

However, transitions are not cause for despair. Transitions are an opportunity to redefine one's self and to chart a new path. I was willing to give up my life back in Portland because I felt as though the opportunity to lead and grow and be surrounded by people like myself would never come. 

Finding a community of individuals who wanted to make the biggest difference possible for patients with cancer and who were equipped to achieve that goal was worth the transition. I have found what I was looking for, but I have also found frustration, sadness, and a good dose of humility. Nonetheless, this year has shaped me into the man I am today. I am stronger, wiser, and more capable than I would have been after a lifetime spent in my old life. 

For me, this move was the best decision I have made, despite how hard things have been. It does not hurt that we had some major successes this year in the lab and that my team is starting to trust me and take shape. I hope the next years can bring that same sense of cohesion in my family life and personal life.

This bring me to a wonderful article by Arthur Brooks in the Atlantic, entitled, "The Clocklike Regularity of Major Life Changes" from his column, "How to Build a Life." It gives a thorough overview of why transitions are so painful and how we can make the most of them. Instead of raging against what is happening to you, Brooks suggests we adjust and adapt. In adaptation, comes purpose and strength. There really is no other option if one wishes to move forward. 

I hope you find some solace in the article. Also check out the related podcast from Brooks, entitled, "The Falling Tides of Life." I wish you peace in your own transition.

TED LASSO

Nicholas and I started watching a new show on Apple TV called "Ted Lasso," starring Jason Sudeikis. The character first appeared in 2013 in advertisements for NBC as it was starting its coverage of the Premier League. In these commercials, Ted Lasso was an American football coach hired to coach the English football (soccer) club Tottenham Hotspur. He was completely out of his element, and hilarity ensued in these short spots.

The TV series features the same character, only this time he is recruited to the UK to AFC (Athletic/Football Club) Richmond from Kansas. While the show is nominally about football, it is about so much more. Initially, the show started off with a fish out of water element, but it quickly pivoted towards the importance of human connection and understanding. I cannot recommend it strongly enough, particularly in the time of COVID, shutdowns, and very few in-person sports.

Check it out, mate!

DRIVER'S ED

I have limited memories of learning to drive. Partly, this is due to age, but I also recall that learning to drive was rather traumatic. Which brings me to Nicholas, who recently completed his driver's ed class and is now behind the wheel.

He had driven on several occasions with Kathleen, and this had gone reasonably well. A few weeks back, I picked him up from practice and suggested he drive home. He was a little hesitant because he had only practiced on my car, but I encouraged him to do it anyway.

The unfamiliarity of my car coupled with the time of day - it was dusk - did not make for a good combination. After about one-quarter mile, he approached a traffic circle. While he steered around the circle, he failed to turn the wheel. The car continued straight right into a sign and onto a curb. He and I were in shock. To say I lost my cool would be an understatement. 

I quickly got behind the wheel, backed up off the curb, and started to drive home. I noticed the car was veering and eventually pulled over. Sure enough, the tire thah had struck the curb was flat. After unsuccessfully trying to unfasten the spare tire from the trunk - it was bolted down too tightly - we called AAA, who saved the day. After that, and I think we were all a little shell-shocked, though Nicholas did go back out once or twice with Kathleen.

Today, though, I suggested we go out again. It was the middle of the day with plenty of light. I drove to start and gave some pointers. Then, we headed to a parking lot, which is where I first learned to drive. Nicholas did several loops, practicing parking, and backing up. It went super well. I drove on the roads on the way home, and we reviewed what we had learned.

Life is not about the straight and arrow. It is about failure and picking one's self up, learning, and moving forward. I know Nicholas will get there with a little help and patience from us!

REST IN PEACE RBG

Ruth Bader Ginsberg died last night after her third cancer diagnosis - most recently pancreatic cancer. She was a defender of justice and equal rights, and it is hard to imagine the Court every having someone as deeply committed to those without a voice than her.

There have been innumerable tributes to her, but I found this one particularly touching. It was written by NPR's judicial correspondent Nina Totenberg who became friends with Justice Ginsberg after many years of covering her on the Supreme Court. What a life.

While I was quite distraught at the thought of Republicans hypocrtically filling her seat before election despite denying President Obama that same privilege nine months before the election, I have now become more clear-eyed. We may lose this Supreme Court seat, but much more is at stake in the next 45 days before the election: the continuation of our democracy.

Ask yourself each morning: what have I done to turn back the tide and to preserve all that RBG and this nation stand for? There is so much work to do, and we have to start now.

One way to get involved is donating to organizations like ActBlue. I just gave them a donation today. Another thing several of our friends have done is to write postcards to voters. Writing is one thing I know how to do, and everyone loves to received mail...when the Post Office is allowed to deliver it.

Let's do all we can to pay tribute to RBG. Hopefully we'll say the country in the process!

THE END

It was an utter humiliation - the end of an era. Barca were battered 8-2 by Bayern Munich in the quarterfinals of the Champions League. Rory Smith called it the end, and sadly that description feels very apt.

In retrospect, we should have all seen this shameful defeat and the end of Barca's dominance on the European stage coming. In 2018, Barca were eliminated by Roma, losing 3-0. In 2019, Liverpool sent the Catalans home after winning 4-0. However, 8-2 seemed unthinkable when the two teams lined up yesterday.

Both teams started off strong, and Barca could have easily been up in the first 20 minutes. However, their chances went begging, and Bayern ruthlessly took advantage of a Barca team that looked a shell of its former self - a team that created far too many unforced errors.

The coach and his player selection and tactics played a role, and he will be gone soon enough. The players were the ones who made the mistakes though and did not respond properly. Many of them will be gone, too. However, the problems run far deeper and go to the very top - the President and the Board. It is they who have squandered the past decade, buying expensive players who were ill-suited to the Barca team. It is they who failed to unload players - albeit beloved players - before their "sell by" date. There were far too many Barca players last night on the wrong side of 30, and they were the biggest culprits in the capitulation.

The club's motto is "More than a club," but Barca are not even half the club they once were. The possession-based, pass and move, high-press style has been gone for years as the club shifted into a counterattacking style. This is explained in part by the fact that Barca's prior style is hard to maintain, especially with an aging squad. That is why the ethos of the club and its philosophy must always take primacy versus the players - no matter how beloved they are. The failure to renew the squad and unload their wages is perhaps even more sinful than the Board's profligate spending on the wrong transfers.

In the end, perhaps 8-2 is the wake-up call that the club needs because the humiliating defeats in Europe in the past two years have clearly not brought about the changes the club needs.

This time feels different though. It feels as though I have watched a loved one die a slow, painful death from a chronic disease that was preventable. Death is a part of life, but I pray there will be an afterlife for my club. 

EARLY RISER

I generally wake up at 6AM everyday so I can go out for a run before work. Today - when I woke up - I saw Cate's light on in her room. When I entered her room, I found her light on and her at work on her computer. I was dumbfounded since Cate usually sleeps in until at least 730.

Recently, Cate let us know that she wanted to switch schools next year and go to the same private school as Nicholas after passing up her acceptance there in the Spring. It turned out that many of her friends from her public elementary had decided not to go to the local public middle school. Though Cate would not provide any more rationale for her decision, I believe that the quality of her online learning experience last spring also played a role.

Fortunately, Cate was able to get in and was asked to take a math placement test to determine the best 6ht grade math class. While she was supposed to take one hour, Cate flew through the test in 28 minutes. Needless to say, after I reviewed the test she submitted, it was clear that Cate missed many of the questions. I sat down with her and spent an hour and a half going through every question. It was clear that Cate did not seem to grasp the concepts. 

Because of this, I told Cate I wanted her to spend an hour per day on the Kahn Academy "Getting Ready for 6th grade math" section. She has dutifully obliged. In fact, that is what she was working on this AM. When I asked her why she was up so early, she replied that she had soccer camp during the day and that this is the only time she could get it done. I felt quite guilty at hearing that and was upset that I was depriving her of sleep.

I told Cate that she could just do 30 minutes per day this week because she was in camp and that getting a good nights rest was very important. Cate expressed understanding and came down for breakfast an hour later - her usual eggo waffles with Nutella - and then she was off to camp.

I love my little worker bee, but I hope she can get some rest and get her math work in!

THE MEANING OF KAMALA

The literal meaning of the word "kamala" is lotus or pale red, but Kamala (Harris) means so much more. By naming her - an Indian and Black American - the Democratic Vice Presidential nominee Joe Biden shattered a new glass ceiling. He also inspired people of all ages from those racial groups and beyond to believe that anything is possible. This may sound like hyperbole, but I never believed that an Indian-American would be on a Presidential ticket. This is because Indian-Americans have always been viewed as exotic or foreign, no matter their achievements or roles in society.

I felt this discrimination firsthand while growing up when bullies racially abused me, teachers butchered my name time and time again, and people asked, "Where are you from? And I don't mean New York. I mean where are you really from?" However, close-mindedness lost yesterday when Joe Biden had the strength and courage to nominate one of the most qualified Vice Presidential candidates in history, who just happened to be Indian- and African-American.

Though Nicholas and Cate view themselves as more brown than white, I do not think they fully grasp what this moment means. They just see an exciting, qualified candidate who is getting her chance. Perhaps that is what progress looks like? 

Progress, excitement, opportunity. Whatever you want to call it, I'll take it. Biden-Harris 2020!