I would like to think I always have my children's best interests in mind, but - like other parents - I have my own biases. The desire to hold on to one's child for just a little while longer can be strong, and this sentiment can sometimes color one's advice. However, ever since Nicholas received both acceptances, I have tried to be as neutral as possible.
In making, his decision, I have asked him to think about how far away from home he feels comfortable moving, where he would like to spend the next four years, and what he is looking for out of college. It is clear that he will be able to pursue a career in journalism after going to either place. The path towards that career at Syracuse might be more straightforward than Michigan, which does not have a journalism program. However, a Master's in journalism after Michigan is a very viable option.
Personally, Syracuse would be the road less travelled. Professionally, Michigan would be the road less traveled for a journalism career. These dualities and complexities are inherent in life, and often there is not one right choice. That is what makes life special. In many ways, it is reassuring that no matter what he decides, there will be a path forward.
The dilemma of choice often comes up when I talk with my patients about navigating different treatment decisions. They often ask me what I would do or what I would tell my father to do. I tell them I am not sure because my dad is his own man, and I am not a cancer patient. However, the best advice, I believe, I give them is to ask themselves how they wish to spend the next few months or years - on treatment or off - and what choice would they regret more if it did not work out. Considering these two variables can often be clarifying, and I hope my patients sleep better with their decisions.
My patients often provide me with life advice, too, and remind me that we are never alone. I still recall the words of one of my patients from Portland - Dr. K. - whom I visited at his home after he enrolled on hospice. When I expressed trepidation about my upcoming move to Ann Arbor, he sought to allay my fears, saying, "Change is hard, but you and your family will get each other through this." Such simple words, but they have been so true and so comforting these past four years. I want Nicholas to know that whatever he decides, we will all help each other navigate this next phase.
I hope Nicholas finds clarity and peace with his decision. Roads are rarely one way. Going far from home may be the right decision. If it does not work, we may not be able to catch him before he falls. However, if that were to happen, we will be there to help him get back up again.
Despite how competitive careers in journalism or broadcasting are, there are several reasons I do not envision Nicholas falling or failing, whichever college path he chooses. He is comfortable in his own skin and laser-focused on his schoolwork and on telling important stories. He is empathetic, curious, and experienced as a journalist and broadcaster, having written for his school paper the past two years and having started a media organization, Gryphon Sports Live, at his school. These are massive accomplishments, and he is an exceptional young man!
Parents try to provide their children with all kinds of opportunities. Perhaps, by disrupting his young life with our move four years ago, the best "gift" I have given Nicholas is the belief that he is capable, strong, and ready to navigate and thrive in unfamiliar territory. Now, it is ultimately his decision to pick which untravelled path feels best. I know he'll make the right decision, and I look forward to watching him continue to develop into an amazing young man - from nearby or from afar. I love you and am so proud of you, son!
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