JOY

We recently took a vacation to Black Butte Ranch in Central Oregon with my mom when she visited. It was a thoroughly relaxing weekend spent reading, swimming, bike-riding, running, and enjoying good food and good company.

The kids especially enjoyed it, and it is hard not to be in a good when they are in a good mood. We snapped this selfie on one of the last days of our trip, and our faces say it all. Contentment, carefreeness, and silliness. In a word: Joy!

THE CHILDREN ACT

Once in a while, an author comes around who nearly always captivates you and who rarely lets you down. For me, that author is Ian McEwan.

I first encountered McEwan in the late 1990s after he won the Booker Prize for "Amsterdam." Since then, I have read nearly every new book he has published. These include, "Enduring Love," "On Chesil Beach," "Saturday," "Sweet Tooth," "Atonement" - one of my favorite books of all time-, and most recently "The Children Act," his newest novel.

What distinguishes McEwan from other authors is primarily how well-researched his books are and how his characters capture the feelings of their era. In that sense, "The Children Act" is a perfect example of McEwan at his best.

The story centers on a female British judge, who focuses on domestic cases. Her job is not only to interpret the law but also to determine what is best for the children whose cases come to her court. She does so with thoughtfulness and earnestness. However, the same cannot be said of her dealing with others, most notably her husband from whom she has become estranged.

Over the course of the book, we see the judge's life unravel while at the same time that she is doing her best to prevent the lives of the children in her court room from doing the same. I will not spoil the ending, but it is a classic McEwan twist, which is fitting. Indeed, (my) life rarely works out according to plan. This explains why I love McEwan and why I recommend "The Children Act" without reservation. 

SELF-PORTRAIT

I have the privilege of dropping off the kids every Wednesday. First, Cate and I drop off Nicholas in his classroom, and then I drop off Cate. Each week, I ask each of them to show me something they like about their class or something they have worked on.

This week, Cate showed me a piece of her art work. It was a self-portrait she made. The picture is shown below and bears a striking resemblance to Cate.

I especially love the Barca shirt and the quote from Cate: "I have chocolate brown eyes. My dad says that." My little peanut is sweet enough to gobble up, just like her eyes. 

BOO!

This is Cate channeling her inner Power Ranger. Be afraid! Be very afraid!

BEGIN AGAIN

This past weekend, two of Kathleen's friends texted me to see if they could borrow our kids. This was because they wanted to see the kids'  movie, "How to Train Your Dragon, Part II," and they thought babysitting would be the perfect cover to do so. I enthusiastically agreed, which meant Kathleen and I got to see a movie. We decided on "Begin Again" from the director of the film "Once."

"Begin Again" is the story of two lost souls - one played by Keira Knightley and another by Mark Ruffalo - who are both in the music business and who have both lost out in their love lives. However, this is not you typical romantic comedy of falling in love. Rather, this is a movie about finding one's self and rekindling one's passion in all things musical.

It is a light movie, and one that hit the spot for me in this world of cynicism and dejection (see our politics, our world affairs, and our warming planet). The soundtrack is quite good, and the acting more than makes up for the unbelievable plot. I can sure you "Begin Again" will not walk away with any Oscar. However, it may just walk away with your heart!

BEDTIME RITUAL

Each night, Kathleen and I take turns reading stories with the kids before bedtime. As they have gotten older, Cate and Nicholas have become the primary readers, and we have become the listeners. However, I was reminded last night that these two are still little guys.

First, Nicholas fell asleep like a sack of potatoes in our bed. We could not rouse him, and Kathleen had to carry him into our bed. Not to be undone, Cate claimed she was unable to fall asleep because it was too hot in her room. I turned on the fan for her and tucked her into bed. However, approximately 10 minutes later, she came back into our room and said she could not sleep because she had a bad dream. I asked her what it was about, and she replied, "I think I saw a ghost. I am afraid to sleep in my bed, and have I mentioned it is hot in there." I walked her back in and explained to her that there was no such thing as ghosts. I also said that my room looked out onto the hallway, so I would be able to see and catch any ghosts that might try to make their way into her room. That seemed to satisfy her, and she snuggled back into bed.

You see, bedtime is many things in our house. However, boring is one thing it never is.

THERE IS NOTHING CHILDISH ABOUT CHILDHOOD

My children never cease to amaze me, and they always seem to remind me that there is nothing childish about childhood. 

Yesterday, Nicholas reminded me just how challenging some of the "simple" moments of life can be when I dropped him off at soccer practice. Ordinarily, I am not the one to drop him off, but I got home early yesterday, so I took him. 

When we walked into the practice facility, Nicholas said he wanted to hang out with me rather than join the other boys who were playing an impromptu game of soccer prior to practice. I encouraged Nicholas to join the group that included many of the kids from his team. Nicholas looked over at the boys wistfully, but he did not join them. He said that he wanted to save his energy until practice started. 

A few minutes later I told him I was heading out and that he should go have some fun. He stayed at the fence watching the other boys and said he was going to rest until practice started. Mind you, he was plenty rested, and he is one of the most energetic people I know. 

That night I shared this anecdote with Kathleen. She said that that was pretty typical behavior for Nicholas before practice and that she was not surprised. 

It then hit me that joining in with that group of boys - many of whom he has been playing with for three months - was still an incredibly difficult situation for him to navigate. He must have been thinking: How should I behave? What should I talk about on the field with these boys whom I do not know that well? Why is it so easy for the other kids to be out there?

Not surprisingly, they say that recess is the hardest part of the day for kids. That is because the play is unstructured and one often has to join activities that are already in progress. 

I wish I could say that these types of interactions become seamless as one gets older, but the truth is that they do not. Navigating unfamiliar and uncomfortable situations is part of life - especially for children. 

We will do our part to give Nicholas the tools and confidence to meet this and other challenges. We will start by going to the soccer team's carnival this weekend. I cannot promise him that that, too, will be without uncomfortable moments. However, I know that once people get to know Nicholas and he gets to know them, mutual appreciation and friendship are the rule and not the exception.

Like I said, there is nothing childish about childhood.

WHAT IS SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN

Today, right before I left Cate's classroom, I picked up a poem that had been left for all the children's parents. It was by Naomi Shihab-Nye, a Palestinian-American who is the unofficial poet laureate of Arbor.

The poem may be found here, but I suggest you grab a box of tissues before reading it.

Between tears, I now appreciate my mother's and father's ancient eyes.

FIRST DAY

I have always found first days of any kind to be difficult. However, I found today - Cate's first day of kindergarten - to be especially difficult. This is because it hit me today just how quickly this little one is growing up.

It is incomprehensible that it has been almost six years since we brought Cate home from the hospital. During those six years, Cate has developed into a wonderful little person with quirks and a character all her own.

Cate is accomplished. She can read, write, and do math. She is an incredibly athletic person, and she picks up new activities easily and quickly. In fact, she recently beat me in chess after only playing a dozen or so times. Some feat!

Despite her aptitude for so many things, I was reminded today when Kathleen and I took her to school today that deep down Cate is still a child. Cate was shy in the classroom (gasps of incredulity), and she said she did not want us to go. Her teacher quickly re-directed her to a game, but Cate seemed reticent to be on her own... to take this step away from us.

To avoid a long, drawn-out goodbye, Kathleen and I gave her a hug and reassured her that she would have a great day. Then, we walked out.

At the door, I turned to snap a picture hoping that Cate would be immersed in the classroom activities. However, I found her standing in the door (see below). She was not crying, but the look on her face said, "Am I ready for this dad? Are you ready for this dad?"

The answer to the former question is clearly yes. However, the answer to the latter is clearly no based on how I feel as I type this.

Tonight, we talked about Cate's day. Cate gave me a detailed play by play just like when Nicholas was a primary. She spoke with an excited yet matter of fact tone. She had no negative words to say.

Cate has been ready for this day for sometime, and today merely marked the beginning of a new chapter of Cate's life - a chapter that will be richer than the last six years spent largely with us. I cannot wait to see what lies ahead, but that does not mean that my heart is unbroken.

Time flies. Hugs your little ones up! I know I did tonight!