LADY BIRD

This past weekend I saw the new film "Lady Bird" directed by the actress Greta Gerwig. I have enjoyed Ms. Gerwig's films for sometime and that is why I was so excited to see her semi-autobiographical directorial debut.

The movie did not disappoint, and I felt myself traveling back to high school during the 90 minutes of the film. The main character, Christine is played by the wonderful Irish actress Saoirse Ronan. Christine goes by the self-appointed nickname Lady Bird and is a girl on the verge - on the verge of college, adulthood, and sexual awakening. She navigates situations that are fraught with conflict and complexity and somehow manages to do so with her integrity and sense of self intact. This is no small feat for an adult, let alone an adolescent.

The movie reminded me of how difficult that time in my own life was and also how I did not truly recognize or appreciate the Lady Birds I grew up with. Looking back, I now realize that I knew countless women like Lady Bird. Had I taken the time to look around, I would have realized that they were just like me- resolute in their ideas of the world and trying to navigate the land mines of growing up. If I had seen them, I think I might have had a very different childhood and felt less isolated. However, while life is best understood backwards, it must be lived forwards. For that reason,  it is never too late to think about all the people we encounter each day who may be more like us than we realize. Here's to all the Lady Birds out there!

BIG VICTORIES

In recent days, Democrats have pulled off stunning upsets. First, came the titanic win of Doug Jones over the accused child molester and all around degenerate Roy Moore in Alabama. Today, we learned that Democrats won the final remaining race for the Virgina House of Delegates by a single vote. That solitary vote means that there are an equal number of Democratic and Republican representatives in that chamber. Importantly, the Governor casts the deciding vote in the event of ties.

These wins come after months of struggles for Democrats who had lost every special election to fill a seat vacated by Trump appointees. However, the tide truly appears to be turning, and the resistance nationwide is fired up and ready to go.

How did we get to such a state in our politics? It began with the election of a carnival barker and degenerate to the White House whose antics and crudeness have left an inedible mark on that office and the American people. Clearly a majority of voters in two southern states said enough is enough. Imagine the reaction of voters in more moderate areas, including suburbs of large cities nationwide. That territory is the battleground where presidential, gubernatorial, and congressional elections are won or lost, and I feel more hopeful than ever before about our ability to win at all three of those levels.

Winning will not happen by itself. That is why we must all get involved by donating, talking to our friends and neighbors, and volunteering for campaigns. It is a truism that if turnout is high, Democrats will win. Because of this, there is no room for sitting on the sidelines anymore. The stakes are just too high.

I implore you to get involved. We rise and fall as one, and I, for one, sense a new dawn in our politics and for our country- one in which order, hope, and decency are restored to there rightful places.

REGRETS, WE ALL HAVE A FEW

Recently, Cate took a field trip to visit a Native American cultural center along with her teachers and classmates. This was not Cate's first field trip, and others had gone off without a hitch. On this one though, there was a problem-a big problem.

After the trip, we learned that Cate and several of her classmates were raising their middle fingers in the f--- you sign to cars that were passing by. When confronted about this by her teacher, Cate and her classmates said they did not know what that symbol stood for and pleaded innocence.

Later that night, I had a chance to talk to Cate. She said she truly did not know what "flipping the bird" meant and that she and her friends were just doing it at the ceiling. I calmly asked Cate, "Where did you see such a thing, and did you think that was a kind symbol or an unkind symbol?" She replied that she had seen it at school. Further, she said that whenever she had seen someone do this, it seemed as though they were doing it to be mean or make someone feel bad.

Having established that Cate knew this was a bad decision, I tried to help her realize that this did not make her a bad person. I told her I was saddened by her choice but that I did not love her any less. We talked about how we knew she could do better and that one was obligated to think before any action. We talked about deciding whether our choices were designed to "break" someone down or to "build" them up and how "builds" were the actions we should strive for.

The next day, Cate wrote a letter of apology to her teachers that she handed in today. Cate said her teacher appreciated the sincerity of her words and actions. I appreciate them, too, and I know that Cate will be a better person for having made such a regretful error. I would know as I have been there myself on too many occasions to count.

DISCIPLINE

I am often amazed by my children-especially their levels of discipline. I have known of this characteristic in them for some time, which begin with their acing the marshmallow test of delayed gratification.

This has not been the only example of Nicholas and Cate's discipline, and I was reminded of this earlier this month. Nicholas had ordered a new NBA video game. Rather than using his own money from his account, he bargained with us to receive this for Christmas, knowing that he would not be able to play with it until December 25th.

When the game came in the mail, I expected him to make a fuss and ask to open it right away. However, when I handed him the packet, he walked straight over to the closet with it and put it away. There was no complain gin or bargaining. Rather, Nicholas was no nonsense in his approach-one that blew me away.

Later that night, I was tempted to let him open the game early. However, I quickly realized that that would send the exact opposite message. He had accepted the reality of the situation without flinching. Who was I to remake the rules for him?

I look forward to Nicholas cracking open that package one month from now and playing that first game. I know it will mean so much more to him because he will have exercised restraint and delayed gratification. For that and for a child like him, I am grateful!

ENDOWED

There are many surprises in life that are quite unpleasant. Because of this, I was thrilled to recently learn that my university had awarded me an endowed chair for prostate cancer research! 

I had always known that receiving a chair was among the highest honors a university can bestow on a faculty member, but I never imagined I would be the recipient of such an honor. Creating such an honor requires a donation of several million dollars to create an endowment, or research fund that is invested. In times of good stock markets and wise investing, the endowment generates interest that the recipient may use for any research purpose: salary, research supplies, etc. This unrestricted fund enables one to have breathing room and to take risks with these dollars that come with none of the strings normally attached to grant awards.

To say that I breathed a sigh of relief upon learning of this award from the Kuni Foundation and Kuni family would be an understatement. Running a lab is like running a small business, and it is no small feat to balance one's books and keep the lights on- especially when one is also trying to juggle patient care and administrative responsibilities. 

That there were so many other deserving individuals at my institution, that the Kuni family-whom I have known for years- believed in me, and that our cancer institute director Brian Druker chose me for this honor is truly humbling. 

Upon receiving the award, I promised that I would work hard to be worthy and that I would dedicate myself everyday to trying to improve the lives of men and their families who are affected by prostate cancer. I cannot think of a higher calling, and this award will remind me daily that to whom much is given, much is expected.

Onward!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CATHERINE REESE!

It seems like just yesterday that we brought this little one home, but Catherine Reese Alumkal turned nine last week! In those nine years, we have seen amazing change and growth, and Cate remains one of the most interesting people whom I have ever met.

They say that children come out who they are, and Cate is living proof. From the moment she arrived in this world, Cate has been single-minded in knowing what she wanted and who she is. That has only increased with time. However, thankfully her acquisition of speech helped immensely for us to understand exactly what Cate wanted.

Today, she is a young woman who is so passionate about so many things-her friends, soccer, Netflix tween dramas, and her family. Never one to shy away from a challenge, she has become an awesome piano player, one heck of a soccer card collector, and a voracious reader of fiction. I think I know from whom she gets the latter!

In her life, Cate has also seen the country change immensely. She was born on the eye of the Obama years and now is in the eye of the Trump storm. I pray that she and we have a brighter future where tolerance, respect for the earth, equal opportunity, and all the ideals that make this country great are restored. I am hopeful that that is the future Cate will have to look forward to, and I have a strong feeling that this little will make this world a much better place.

It is hard to image the next nine years with Cate-the nine years before she will presumably leave our house. There are days when I take for granted all that I have to thankful for and how special this young woman is, but not today. I am honored to call her my own, and I do not think I will ever love anyone more than her and Nicholas. For as long as I breathe, I will look to her with affection and just a little bit of awe.

I love you Cate Cate!

WE'RE BACK!!!

Yesterday, Lionel Messi put on a show and dispensed with Italian champion Juventus 3-0 to open this year's Champions League campaign.

The win was sweet for several reasons, most of all that Juventus had knocked Barca out of last year's competition in the quarterfinal stage. Over two legs last year, Barca had managed no goals to Juventus' three.

Though Barca were without Neymar yesterday, the new players they signed with his transfer fee shined. The full back Nelson Semedo was rampant on the right side, and the forward Ousmane Dembele also caused Juventus countless problems on that same side. That our right flank has been significantly strengthened enabled Lionel Messi to drift more central and play as a "false 9" or mobile forward. This liberation came at the Juventus' expense as Messi was everywhere and hard to contain.

While he had not previously scored against Juventus' towering goalkeeper Gigi Buffon, yesterday Messi put two past him. Ivan Rakitic added a third, and the game was done and dusted.

Beyond Messi's brilliance and the performance of new signings, other tactical changes also contributed to the win. First, Barca as a team ran 25 more kilometers last night versus their 3-0 humiliation to Juventus last year. Second, the possession, pass and move, "total football" of the Cruyff and Guardiola eras resurfaced  in place of the midfield-bypassing structure of Barca's former coach Lucho Enrique. Finally, the team had something to prove after its poor showing last year and because of all the doubters. A stronger and more forceful message could not have been sent!

I look forward to this season and watching this team gel and take shape. I am a clue for life, and yesterday's European night was one for the ages!