After the trip, we learned that Cate and several of her classmates were raising their middle fingers in the f--- you sign to cars that were passing by. When confronted about this by her teacher, Cate and her classmates said they did not know what that symbol stood for and pleaded innocence.
Later that night, I had a chance to talk to Cate. She said she truly did not know what "flipping the bird" meant and that she and her friends were just doing it at the ceiling. I calmly asked Cate, "Where did you see such a thing, and did you think that was a kind symbol or an unkind symbol?" She replied that she had seen it at school. Further, she said that whenever she had seen someone do this, it seemed as though they were doing it to be mean or make someone feel bad.
Having established that Cate knew this was a bad decision, I tried to help her realize that this did not make her a bad person. I told her I was saddened by her choice but that I did not love her any less. We talked about how we knew she could do better and that one was obligated to think before any action. We talked about deciding whether our choices were designed to "break" someone down or to "build" them up and how "builds" were the actions we should strive for.
The next day, Cate wrote a letter of apology to her teachers that she handed in today. Cate said her teacher appreciated the sincerity of her words and actions. I appreciate them, too, and I know that Cate will be a better person for having made such a regretful error. I would know as I have been there myself on too many occasions to count.
No comments:
Post a Comment