TRANSITIONS

Transitions and disruptions in life are inevitable, yet why do we find them so uncomfortable? I think it is the feeling of impotence and sense that we are no longer in charge of our destiny.

My family and your's have felt transition's wrath this past year with the COVID pandemic. Throw a cross-country move, new jobs, and new schools into the mix, too, and one is left feeling quite lost.

However, transitions are not cause for despair. Transitions are an opportunity to redefine one's self and to chart a new path. I was willing to give up my life back in Portland because I felt as though the opportunity to lead and grow and be surrounded by people like myself would never come. 

Finding a community of individuals who wanted to make the biggest difference possible for patients with cancer and who were equipped to achieve that goal was worth the transition. I have found what I was looking for, but I have also found frustration, sadness, and a good dose of humility. Nonetheless, this year has shaped me into the man I am today. I am stronger, wiser, and more capable than I would have been after a lifetime spent in my old life. 

For me, this move was the best decision I have made, despite how hard things have been. It does not hurt that we had some major successes this year in the lab and that my team is starting to trust me and take shape. I hope the next years can bring that same sense of cohesion in my family life and personal life.

This bring me to a wonderful article by Arthur Brooks in the Atlantic, entitled, "The Clocklike Regularity of Major Life Changes" from his column, "How to Build a Life." It gives a thorough overview of why transitions are so painful and how we can make the most of them. Instead of raging against what is happening to you, Brooks suggests we adjust and adapt. In adaptation, comes purpose and strength. There really is no other option if one wishes to move forward. 

I hope you find some solace in the article. Also check out the related podcast from Brooks, entitled, "The Falling Tides of Life." I wish you peace in your own transition.

TED LASSO

Nicholas and I started watching a new show on Apple TV called "Ted Lasso," starring Jason Sudeikis. The character first appeared in 2013 in advertisements for NBC as it was starting its coverage of the Premier League. In these commercials, Ted Lasso was an American football coach hired to coach the English football (soccer) club Tottenham Hotspur. He was completely out of his element, and hilarity ensued in these short spots.

The TV series features the same character, only this time he is recruited to the UK to AFC (Athletic/Football Club) Richmond from Kansas. While the show is nominally about football, it is about so much more. Initially, the show started off with a fish out of water element, but it quickly pivoted towards the importance of human connection and understanding. I cannot recommend it strongly enough, particularly in the time of COVID, shutdowns, and very few in-person sports.

Check it out, mate!

DRIVER'S ED

I have limited memories of learning to drive. Partly, this is due to age, but I also recall that learning to drive was rather traumatic. Which brings me to Nicholas, who recently completed his driver's ed class and is now behind the wheel.

He had driven on several occasions with Kathleen, and this had gone reasonably well. A few weeks back, I picked him up from practice and suggested he drive home. He was a little hesitant because he had only practiced on my car, but I encouraged him to do it anyway.

The unfamiliarity of my car coupled with the time of day - it was dusk - did not make for a good combination. After about one-quarter mile, he approached a traffic circle. While he steered around the circle, he failed to turn the wheel. The car continued straight right into a sign and onto a curb. He and I were in shock. To say I lost my cool would be an understatement. 

I quickly got behind the wheel, backed up off the curb, and started to drive home. I noticed the car was veering and eventually pulled over. Sure enough, the tire thah had struck the curb was flat. After unsuccessfully trying to unfasten the spare tire from the trunk - it was bolted down too tightly - we called AAA, who saved the day. After that, and I think we were all a little shell-shocked, though Nicholas did go back out once or twice with Kathleen.

Today, though, I suggested we go out again. It was the middle of the day with plenty of light. I drove to start and gave some pointers. Then, we headed to a parking lot, which is where I first learned to drive. Nicholas did several loops, practicing parking, and backing up. It went super well. I drove on the roads on the way home, and we reviewed what we had learned.

Life is not about the straight and arrow. It is about failure and picking one's self up, learning, and moving forward. I know Nicholas will get there with a little help and patience from us!

REST IN PEACE RBG

Ruth Bader Ginsberg died last night after her third cancer diagnosis - most recently pancreatic cancer. She was a defender of justice and equal rights, and it is hard to imagine the Court every having someone as deeply committed to those without a voice than her.

There have been innumerable tributes to her, but I found this one particularly touching. It was written by NPR's judicial correspondent Nina Totenberg who became friends with Justice Ginsberg after many years of covering her on the Supreme Court. What a life.

While I was quite distraught at the thought of Republicans hypocrtically filling her seat before election despite denying President Obama that same privilege nine months before the election, I have now become more clear-eyed. We may lose this Supreme Court seat, but much more is at stake in the next 45 days before the election: the continuation of our democracy.

Ask yourself each morning: what have I done to turn back the tide and to preserve all that RBG and this nation stand for? There is so much work to do, and we have to start now.

One way to get involved is donating to organizations like ActBlue. I just gave them a donation today. Another thing several of our friends have done is to write postcards to voters. Writing is one thing I know how to do, and everyone loves to received mail...when the Post Office is allowed to deliver it.

Let's do all we can to pay tribute to RBG. Hopefully we'll say the country in the process!