When asked about it, Cate said that she and her friend were merely being loud. However, a phone call from Cate's teacher described things as a little more complicated that that. Apparently there was some teasing and then name calling going on. Cate was a victim of the former and then was guilt of the latter.
We asked Cate to tell us the full truth about what happened that night after I got home. She was very reluctant at first and was quite upset to even talk about the matter. Finally, she told us that one of the girls on the bus had been making fun of Cate and Cate's best friend, a boy from her class. The girl teased them for being married and being in love because Cate always sits next to this boy on the bus. Despite Cate's insistence that they were not married and pleas for this girl to stop, the taunting continued. At one point the girl also remarked that there was an ugly truck driving past them out the window. I suppose Cate saw her opening because our little one retorted, "Not as ugly as your face!"
I made a point to explain to Cate that her remark was every bit as hurtful as the girl's teasing and that is was not acceptable. I also explained that I could empathize with Cate and her frustration. We talked about other ways to handle situations like this and how perhaps she and her friend should sit apart from the girl. We also explained that she should involve the bus driver and that we would speak to the girl's mom if anything like this happened again. Cate expressed understanding, and we had a big hug and a lot of tear-drying.
What I did not say to Cate was that I was a little floored by the directness of her comment to the girl. It was a hell of a comeback for a seven year-old. Succinct, pointed, dagger. I do not condone this type of behavior, but sometimes one needs to fight fire with fire with bullies. Here's hoping there can be some sort of detente. We will add this to the list of childhood lessons learned.
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