If You're Happy and You Know It, FLAP Your Hands

One of the most important things in life is having great friends. I have been fortunate to have had them at all stages of my life. While I have never had a huge number of friends, the people whom I have called my friends have always been amazing people. This was particularly true during med school, residency, and fellowship. For this reason, Kathleen and I, or should I say I, have always been a little concerned that Nicholas has not made more deep connections with kids at school or in the neighborhood. Now, mind you, he is only three, and I may be paranoid. Part of my concern stems from the fact that I think he is such a cool kid; he is smart, caring, and very funny.

Yesterday, I arrived at his daycare to pick him up at the end of the day. His teacher was reading the class a story, "Curious George Gets a Medal," perhaps the longest book in the history of printed words. I know this because I had read this tome to him the week prior while we were on vacation in Minnesota. Anyway, Nicholas appeared to be really enjoying the story. I knew this because he was flapping his arms. Flapping his arms, you say? The above video is illustrative. From the earliest age, he has always flapped his arms when he was excited, particularly when enjoying himself (above video notwithstanding). Yesterday was no different. However, the fascinating part was that after he did this, several of the kids in his class reflexively flapped, too. It was, to my eye, not done in a mocking way but rather in imitation. He, of course, was oblivious to the fact that the kids seemed to find him to be cool.

What I have come to realize is that his lack of deep connection (again, I know he is only 3) is probably a function of being a choosy person... sort of like his dad. I have never been one to form casual connections, but I will do anything for those who are my friends. I think that most people are not bad; they are just not worth befriending. I guess this makes me particular rather than misanthropic, and the little guy may be no different. I know he will make deep connections with friends as he gets older because he already has with me, and I am one tough customer.

GOT MILK?

Kathleen and I are pretty liberal, eco-conscious parents, but we are not over the top. We try to buy organic and try to avoid processed foods (drinking yogurt notwithstanding). In particular, Nicholas, in his short life, has only consumed organic milk while we consume inorganic milk. Nicholas asked me the other day why he had a different kind of milk (we both drink 1%). I replied that it was because our milk had chemicals in it. He quickly replied, "Why do you like chemicals?" I attempted to explain "half the cost," but I think the concept was lost on him. Needless to say when I was at the grocery store last night with him, I just picked up one gallon of milk for the family- organic. It seems like a small price to pay to teach your kids healthy habits and to potentially derive health benefits one's self.

CATCHER IN THE RYE?

So the other morning Nicholas said he did not want to go to school. This was after he had thrown a mini-tantrum prior to heading out the door. After some mild "voice raising" (i.e. yelling) on my part, he got in the car, and we headed to school. I asked him why he did not want to go to school. He said it was because he was tired of playing by himself. He uttered this with just the right tone of sorrow, which made me feel compelled to come up with a solution. I suggested he recommend a game of "monster tag," in which each kid would be a different Sesame Street character and in which the objective was to tag whomever was it. He said that sounded like a good plan for facilitating interaction. After dropping him off, I thought more about his response for why he did not want to go to school, and I was a little more skeptical.

Today, his teacher told me that the kids love him and find him "charming." The little guy pulled one over on his old man. While I do not doubt that he feels isolated at times (what 3 year old does not), he clearly knew which button to press. He is no Holden Caulfield, but he does know (already) how to convince people... dad included.

READING IS FUNDAMENTAL

In my opinion, one of the most important and fun things in life is reading. I remember, as a kid, saving up my money to order books from school and also constantly checking out books from the library. Once, my elementary school librarian cut me off for checking out too many books and for checking out the same book about Louis Pasteur too many times. I was undeterred, and clearly Louis made his mark on me. One of my favorite book series was called, "Bruno and Boots," which described the adventures of 2 kids in a Canadian boarding school (Think Harry Potter with high schoolers and without the wizardry). I went on to read some of the "great books" during high school and college, and I started a book club during residency to meet women who not only could read well but who were also well-read (This is how I met Kathleen, but we will save that for another post.), but my early reading was every bit as formative.

Last fall, one of our friends who is a librarian mentioned that she really liked a children's book author named Mo Willems. I am always game for trying a new kids' author as so many of them are dull (Eric Carle and Sandra Boynton excepted). We decided to check out a few of his books, and I must say I, as a discriminating reader, found them both humorous and educational. More importantly, Nicholas loves them- particularly the "Pigeon" series. One of my oldest friends from growing up in Austin gave Nicholas a copy of Mo's book "Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus" for Christmas last year, and it remains one of his favorites. He has memorized most of the words from this series and can "read" them to me, which is quite hilarious. As for Cate, we have already introduced her to one of Mo's most endearing characters Knuffle Bunny (pictured above). She sits in rapt attention when I read bedtime stories to Nicholas, and I think she, too, will come to love reading.

A bumper sticker I saw today in bibliophilic Portland summed things up best, "I'd rather be behind a book." I could not agree more, and, on that note, it is time for me to get back to "Cutting for Stone," which I hope to review in this forum at a later date.