TRAGEDY/TRAVESTY

The elections of 2008 and 2012 were joyous events in my home and the homes of many whom I love. In that sense, the election of 2016 could not be more foreign - truly a tragedy, a travesty.

How did we end up with President-elect Trump? I will leave that to the pundits like David Remnick from the New Yorker to describe. However, one thing is clear. Our democracy "worked." America got the president it desired and deserves, and walls like the one shown on the cover of this week's NewYorker may well start coming up.

As we do a post-mortem on this election, I want you to let a few numbers sink in:

231,556,622 eligible voters in the U.S.
25.5% voted for Trump
25.6% voted for Hillary
46.9% did not vote

Many of those who stayed home were minorities such as African-Americans or millennials. They had the most to lose with a Trump presidency, and yet they were not moved enough to let their voices be heard at the ballot box. Worse still, many of those who did show up voted for a third party candidate-essentially casting a vote for Trump. These "no" votes or wasted votes were enough to flip traditionally blue states like Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Wisconsin to Trump. I will never forgive these irresponsible Americans. Ever.

Moreover, nearly half the country looked the other way and apparently were comfortable with all of Trump's horrible words and deeds. How any woman, person of color, or human being with a conscience could cast a vote for him, I will never understand.

At this time though, we must look forward. Blame will not change the outcome of this election. Our goal must be to preserve the Union and prevent actions, laws, or movements that undermine the America that I know and love-a place built of diversity, tolerance, and hope.

The default position will be to throw up one's arms and give up or allow the fascists to slow erode our civil liberties and values. I will do everything in my power to resist that. How are some ways one can join the resistance, you ask? First, subscribe to a newspaper or magazine such as the New York Times, the Washington Post, or the New Yorker. Volunteer for progressive causes or campaigns so we can try to win back at least one house of Congress in order to provide some check on a Trump presidency. Vote, phone bank, and get involved with local issues and elections.

Most importantly, set a good example for your neighbors, friends, and loved ones and never let intolerance or injustice go unchecked. For if we do, that is the beginning of the end for our country as we have know it. Just ask Russians, Turks, and the British.

I will leave you tonight with the opening segment of last night's episode of Saturday Night Live.
That show did everything in its power this election season to bring to light the horrors of Donald Trump. Last night, the show struck a more somber tone when the actress Kate McKinnonn who played Hillary Clinton donned her pant suit one more time. In this segment, McKinnon sat at a piano and delivered a moving version of the song Hallelujah by Leonard Cohen who sadly died last week. The last verse was improvised but captured what so many Hillary supporters were feeling. After the performance, McKinnon was fighting back tears as she looked in the camera and exhorted us to not give up. I hope you feel the same way.

LEFT OUT BUT NOT KNOCKED OUT

The day after Halloween, Nicholas said he wanted to talk to me about something. As we sat together, he explained that things were "off" at school.

The prior week, three of his friends had been discussing a Halloween party at one of the kids' houses around Nicholas. Naturally, Nicholas thought he would be invited. However, it turned out that the boy organizing the party had not intended to invite Nicholas. At that point, Nicholas expressed his frustration and his hurt feelings. This did not resolve the problem.

According to Nicholas, things got worse from there. His three friends proceeded to ignore Nicholas and not respond to his repeated pleas about why he was no longer welcome and why they did not want to be his friend anymore. Nicholas shared all of this with me with tears in his eyes that he fought back and never shed.

Obviously, I was saddened to hear about how these boys had treated Nicholas. Because the boys are only 11, I did not think this would be resolved on its own. Therefore, I told Nicholas that we needed to get his teachers involved and that I wanted to talk with them when I dropped him off the next day.

When we went in to the school the following day, we found one of Nicholas' teachers. We asked if she had a minute, and then I asked Nicholas to tell her what had happened. Again, as he fought back tears that he never shed, Nicholas told the same story he had told me. The teacher had been unaware of what had happened, and she agreed to get more information and to try to resolve the situation. As I drove away from the school that day, I felt gutted.

Here was the sweetest and kindest person I know being hurt. Over the next few days, we were able to get more information from both the teacher and one of the boy's parents. The latter did not seem very concerned and even complained that the school should stay out of the kids' personal lives. To this, Kathleen retorted, the kids should not be discussing outside social activities that are exclusive, invite-only in front of other children who were not welcome. The mom had no response.

In the end, the ringleader boy and Nicholas' other sheep-like friends involved in the party explained to Nicholas that they "wanted to take a break" from being his friend. I explained to Nicholas that that was their right but that he also had the right to be treated with respect and kindness. We talked about how one's worth is not measured by how others treat us but rather by how one behaves and treats others. We watched a video about kindness that was excerpted from the author George Saunders' commencement speech on this same topic. I think it struck a chord with Nicholas.

I hope Nicholas realizes how special he is, and how the pause in their friendship is those other boys' loss. 

Adolescence is hard. Hell, life is hard at any age. However, I know Nicholas will get through this and that he will become a stronger person with an even greater sense of self-esteem and right and and wrong. That does not change the fact that his pain was unbearable to watch and that I would have done anything to try and make that pain go away for my sweet little boy.