I met Coach L. over two years ago when his metastatic prostate cancer was progressing despite hormonal treatments and chemotherapy. Until recently, we had no other effective therapies for men like Coach L. However, clinical trials conducted at my hospital and others identified new and more effective therapies that were approved by the FDA shortly before I met Coach L. I treated him with no fewer than five therapies in the past two years, and he also enrolled on three clinical trials. He participated in research because he wanted to fight and because he wanted to help other men with his disease. He gave everything and fought his best, but we had sadly run out of effective options.
When I saw Coach L. last week in clinic, he told me that he had decided to stop treatment. He thanked me for all my efforts but said that he was too weak to continue. He said that he was not afraid to die. He just wanted to die his way. I reflected on his words during that visit.
Coach L. had lost weight, but he was still a strapping, stocky man - a man who had terrorized many strikers in his time. He had never given up on anything in his life, but somehow he knew that now was the time to stop.
I told Coach L. that I was somewhat amazed by his resolve and comfort with his decision. I told him that only a man who had lived a life that he could be proud of and who had nothing left to prove could be that resolute or comfortable with such a decision. He said that he had regrets like anyone but that his life had been full. To him, death was not apart from life. Death was a part of life.
As he, his son, and I consoled each other, I let these words sink in. Death is a part of life.
I told Coach L. and his son that I was sorry that I could not do more, that I had let them down by not controlling his cancer better. However, I also told them that today, more than ever, I felt honored to have the job that I do. I hate the harm that cancer inflicts. However, I also know that cancer introduces me to so many incredible patients like Coach L. - patients who let me into their lives and whom I let into mine.
We spent the remainder of the visit talking about the things we love most - the beautiful game of football and our families. His daughter was planning to visit from his native land, and his son was spending a lot of time with him. We talked about Nicholas' futsal team and how much I enjoyed coaching the boys from Arbor.
I told him that I gave the boys a pep talk before their last game that took place two days before his clinic visit. At that game, I told the boys about how Coach L. was near the end of his battle with cancer and how there are so many more important things than winning or losing football matches. I told the boys that we are judged much more by how we live or play the game than the end result.
These words seemed to inspire the boys. They played well as a team and defeated their opponents 11-6. Most importantly, they kept their cool despite very unsportsmanlike play by the other team. Afterwards, the boys, Cate, and I all signed a card to Coach L. shown below that I shared with him. I especially like Kiko's comment.
Coach L. said that he was proud of the way our boys had played and that he was not surprised that such a team had only lost three games in three seasons. What a compliment from such a giant. What a privilege to be his doctor. What a gift this life is.
At the end of the visit and these two years together, I now know that I have been the pupil and Coach L. my coach. He has taught me to live a life that I might be proud of and to maintain my composure in all circumstances. These are lessons that I hope to remember everyday and that I reminded the Arbor boys of tonight.
Here's to Coach L. - my vote for coach of the year!
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