FINAL THOUGHTS (AKA THE POST THAT WILL GET ME TO ONE MORE POST THAN LAST YEAR)

MOVEMBER!

THE BARCA ALUSPORT FUTSAL MATCH WE SAW IN BARCELONA

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

THANK YOU 2013

I am thankful for many things this year.

My health continues to be good despite a few soccer injuries and the aches and pains of aging.

I have an amazing family with a great, supportive wife, two amazing kids, and a loving mom and dad and brother and sister.

Although I do not see my out of town friends as often as I would like, we remain close. When we do see each other, it is as though no time has passed since we last met. The connection, the understanding is still there. I have also made some great new friends this year - mostly through soccer and futsal. What is better than playing one's favorite game with great people?

I am thankful for cable television. I watch "Homeland" and so many football matches. NBC Sports and their Premier League coverage has truly changed our TV watching habits.



Many a Saturday morning, Nicholas and I will arise at 5AM to watch the latest "game of the week." What a treat. Here is the year in review.

We had wonderful trips in 2013. We went to the East Coast for Spring Break and saw some wonderful friends in NYC, Philadelphia, Wilmington, and D.C. In the summer, we went to Black Butte twice and Mount Hood. This Fall, we went to Barcelona to celebrate my 40th birthday. The kids did great on that trip, and we are already planning a trip to England for some football tourism next year. We ended the year with a great trip to Seattle.

There is no better gift to one's kids or better way to spend one's money, in my opinion, than travel. Who knows where we will go next, but I promise you we will keep going!

Several of the large federal grants that I slaved over in 2012 were funded in 2013, and I am truly excited about our research directions. I have three great people in my lab, who are committed to making breakthroughs and working their butts off. Fingers crossed that we will be able to contribute to our goal of a world without cancer-related suffering.

A wise man once said, all of us will die one day, but how many of us truly live? I am reminded of that each week as I care for amazing men and their families with my incredible team of nurses and clinical research staff. I could not imagine doing any other job!

These are just a few of the things for which I am grateful. Let's hope that even better and bigger things await us in 2014!

TRADING UP

When I was going up, baseball trading cards were all the rage. I even collected a few myself. These cards continue to be quite popular in many parts of the country. However, in my house, Nicholas collects all together different cards - football cards.

For Christmas, he asked Santa for some new cards. However, his request came one week before Christmas. This did not leave Santa and the elves much time to make the cards, especially since Nicholas already owns quite a few collections.

Santa apparently was up for the challenge, and on Christmas morning Nicholas found an album and fifty packs of cards from the UEFA Champions League, the pre-eminent European club football competition. Already, he has two-thirds of the cards he needs, and he will be saving up his birthday and Christmas money so that he can order some more.

Nicholas' interest in collecting these cards is about far more than football. He love to learn about where the players are from. He loves to draw them. Most of all, he loves to learn new things. 

I am happy to encourage his habit. Plus, I get the duplicate cards for the Barca players!

ME AND MY SHADOW(S)

It seems as though I have grown a shadow whether it is light or dark out. That shadows name is Nicholas.

He is with me from the time I wake up. We get dressed together. Invariably, he asks that we talk about soccer. I wait for him before I go downstairs… that is if he has not already woken up before me and gone downstairs on his own to draw or work on the IPad.

We play games together. We go to my work together on weekends and sometimes get a root beer float together. We watch football together. We talk about football together… a lot.

Increasingly, I am growing a littler shadow named Cate. She greats me in the morning. She asks for "just one more hug" before I leave for work. She even lets me give her little smooches sometime though she immediately and reflexively wipes her cheek afterwards. She always demands that we play on the same team when we go to the pitch too play football as a family.

Two amazing kids whom I love immensely and whose love for me I cherish. The image of those two shadows illuminated is what I will remember most about 2014.

THANKFUL

Today, I asked Nicholas to write down the reasons he is thankful. Here is his response.

I could not agree more. I am thankful for all those things, too, and I am thankful for Mr. Nicholas. 

Happy holidays!

KIDS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS

This post is not about the late Art Linkletter (yes, I know I am dating myself). It is about a few recent phrases courtesy of Cate and Nicholas.

Cate uttered the following,"I don't have the faintest idea what you are talking about!" while Kathleen was reading her a particularly confusing story.

Nicholas seems to repeat "I am allergic to secrets!" every time we discuss the concept of Christmas.

There are far too many more phrases to share. Suffice it to say, these kids are truly exceptional in every way, including their diction!

WORDS MATTER

One of my favorite patients recently went on hospice. I have written about him and his wife before, but nothing could have prepared me for how quickly his cancer became out of control.

D and his wife recently set up a website to share his final journey with his family and friends. They graciously invited me to join, and I have read the entries by his wife and friends in the past few weeks. I was not sure whether I should write something, but I felt compelled last night to do so after reflecting on what D has meant to me. Here is an excerpt from that post:

I have been D's oncologist for the past three and one-half years, and it has truly been a privilege to get to know him, his wife P, and their family. While I have not met you all, I have heard countless stories about the love and devotion you have for D and that he has for you. I know that your support means the world to him. 

One is taught in medical school to remain objective and to erect a wall between one's self and one's patients. Oncology training is no different, and there are many days when people ask me, "How did you end up in this profession?" I used to tell them that I wanted to do something epic - you know, life, death, hope, fear. However, increasingly, I tell people that I am drawn to this field because of intense, yet wonderful connections with truly remarkable patients and families. This is a profession that can change you - for the better or the worse. But P and D have given me more than I could ever repay. They remind me of the importance of love, of loyalty, and of family and friends. 

Life is until further notice. Indeed, from the day one is born, life is a terminal condition. The knowledge of this fact is enough to make many lose hope. All of us will die, but how many of us truly live? Unlike you all, I only got to know Dan these last few years. However, what I have seen of D's life in that time is enough to fill a lifetime.  

I am a better person because I have known D. I would trade "objectivity" or "distance" any day for  the deep affection I have for him even though that affection will one day be accompanied by great sadness.  

I will miss D when he leaves us. However, when that time comes, I will raise a glass of Jameson (or 25 year Macallan - forgive me but the Scottish do make better whiskey than the Irish) and take comfort with the fact that D's life has been an extraordinary one and that I have had the privilege to be a part of it. 

More than anything, I wrote that entry because I wanted D to know before he left this life how much he meant to me. Words can be cheap, but words can also matter and come too late. I hope D sees my ode to him, and I hope it brings him some measure of comfort to know that he is more than the sum of his cells. D's actions, his grace, and his courage will not soon be forgotten by me or any of those whose lives he touched.

HOMELAND

Every now and then a show comes along that pulls you in, that has you "binge-watching," and that leaves you feeling empty during the hiatus between seasons. For me, Homeland is the best television show I have ever watched.

There are a number of reasons that I find the show so compelling. First and foremost, the characters are exceptional. The protagonists are Carrie Bradshaw, a CIA agent played by the lovely Claire Danes, and Nicholas Brody, a former POW from the Iraq war who might just be a terrorist played by the British actor Damien Lewis. These two characters would be wonderful without the other, but their on-screen complexity rises to another level when the viewer sees their intertwined story lines and their chemistry.

Second, Homeland is a show for our age. Terrorism, secret wire-taps, and intrigue are all part of the life we live, or at least read about, in 2013. Indeed, Homeland's depictions of life amidst the "war on terror" feel almost pornographic. The action is past-paced with intrigue around every corner. The viewer is always kept guessing, and there are more than a few plot twists... during each episode.

Yesterday, was the finale of Season three. I will not spoil it for you. I will, however, encourage you to rent Season one from Netflix or iTunes. It will probably take you all of one week to watch the entire season. That is exactly how long it took me! Season two builds to a dramatic crescendo, and Season three lulls one to sleep… that is until the last few episodes when the show delivers startling punch after punch.

Homeland is a revelation. It is an escape from our daily lives into the lives of these characters' who are our contemporaries in this age. Watch at your own risk! You will not be disappointed, but you will become addicted.

Only nine more months until Season four...

HALLELUJAH

Yesterday, we joined several other families from Nicholas' school at a Holiday Gospel concert downtown. Coleen Carey, one of the Arbor mom's was singing in the predominantly black gospel choir  that was accompanied by the Oregon Symphony.

Traditional holiday carols were re-worked, and the place was lifted with sweet, soulful singing. Most concerts at this hall are quite staid. However, this one brought the crowd to its feet, brought hands to together clapping in unison, and brought feet stamping on the floor. It was a celebration of God, Jesus, and religion. It was also a celebration of life and all the reasons we have to be grateful.

During that concert, I smiled over and over again. I thanked my lucky stars for my friends and family. I rejoiced about all that I have lived and about all the life that is yet to come. In short, his non-believer did a little Hallelujah inside.

Happy holidays, and here's to rejoicing over the little blessings that are far to easy to overlook everyday!

I will send you out with Jeff Buckley, who probably sang the most beautiful "Hallelujah" you will ever hear.

MONSTER MASH

Nicholas has been playing futsal on an Arbor futsal team this Winter. There are actually two Arbor teams in the same league. Nicholas' team is the the Red Monsters, and the other team is the Blue Monsters. I am not sure from where the names come. Perhaps one of the parents is a Gaga fan? Nonetheless, it is a truly great collection of young men, including some fantastic players.

The teams, in true Arbor fashion, are each coached by an older sibling of one of the boys on the team. I have had the privilege of serving as Assistant Coach of Nicholas' team, and it has been a blast to watch these boys play together. 

This weekend, we had the first of two meetings between the two Arbor teams. Affectionately, this match was nicknamed "The Monster Mash," and it was one for the ages.

Red quickly went up 1-0. However, Blue responded with three unanswered goals before half-time to take the score to 3-1. At halftime, I talked to the boys about playing with greater defense intensity and about following up shots in case there were rebounds. I also congratulated our goalie for playing an exceptional first half, in which he turned away over ten shots.

The Red Monsters must have heard me, or else they realized what was at stake in this match - bragging rights. They came out blazing and quickly tied up the game. With no more than three minutes to spare, Nicholas put in the game winner - a shot off of a rebound that he sent high into the net beyond his friend's grasp. Nicholas' teammates surrounded him and hugged him and gave him high-fives. Our bench also went wild, and I might have jumped up and down and screamed. You will have to check the tape.

Red scored another insurance goal, securing the victory in Monster Mash 1.0. The rematch takes place in 2 weeks!

Before this season, Nicholas had been the star of his local under nine years "U9" neighborhood team. He had the opportunity to play futsal with that same group of boys. However, he said he wanted to play on the Arbor team with his friends even though it was a U10 team and even though he would be one of the weaker players. He said, "Dad, I just want to be with my friends. We look out for each other, and we really like to be together."

So true. Sports should be fun, and it is always funner - win or lose - to play with one's friends. 

I  signed the Arbor boys up for another season after this one concludes. I hope to see many more goals. However, most of all, I hope to see many more moments of camaraderie and joy. Here's to all the little Arbor monsters!

GUILELESS

Nicholas Joshi Alumkal is truly one of the most remarkable people whom I have ever met. He is a third-grader mind you, but he is wise beyond his years and without pretense.

This morning was particularly challenging but was illustrative of Nicholas' wisdom and maturity. We have been preparing Cate's Arbor admission application, and this morning Cate expressed reservations about leaving her current Montessori school for Arbor next year. It was dramatic to say the least.

After she calmed down, I dropped Cate off at school, and Nicholas and I headed to Arbor.

I asked Nicholas why he thought Cate was so upset, and he said he thought she was afraid of the transition and the new challenges that Arbor would pose. He, himself, will be entering the third phase of Arbor next year, the Intermediate classroom of 4th and 5th graders.

Nicholas matter-of-factly said, "Dad, I would be lying if I said I am not scared about moving to Intermediates." He said that he was worried about the workload, which is rumored to be quite a bit more than 3rd grade, and he was concerned about many of the responsibilities that are unique to the Intermediate classroom. However, he said he knew that the school would look out for him and that many, many kids before him had done well in those grades. Later that day, Nicholas shared these feelings and thoughts with Cate, whom I hope was comforted by her brother's revelation.

There are very few things or people in life that are exactly what they appear to be. What one sees is what one gets with Nicholas. With Nicholas, one gets an exceptional boy indeed!

THE AUDACITY OF FATE

The week before last we travelled to Barcelona for a week-long holiday to celebrate my 40th birthday. Without a doubt, attending a Barca match was going to be the highlight of the trip. There was only one small problem. I was unable to find four tickets together for purchase through the club's website or through Ticketmaster. Therefore, I sought tickets through other avenues.

Our cancer institute has strong ties with Nike, who sponsor Barca, so I decided to try several channels to see if Nike could help us purchase tickets. To my amazement, Mr. Nelson Farris, a Nike executive here, contacted Mr. Marcos Garzo, a Nike executive in Spain who provided us four tickets gratis. 

Buoyed by that news, we flew to Barcelona on a Delta/KLM flight on Friday with a planned arrival on Saturday around 12:15 PM. The game had been scheduled to start at 9PM that same Saturday night, but it was moved up to a 4PM start. Needless to say, this made me quite nervous, and I even considered paying a fee so we could leave one day earlier in case their was a problem with our flight from Portland or our connection in Amsterdam. In the end, I decided to stick with our original flights. 

We arrived in Amsterdam with plenty of time to spare.  We lined up to board the KLM flight to Barcelona. However, the agent curtly told us we were at the wrong gate. It turned out that there was a different flight operated by Delta that just so happened to be departing for Barcelona at the exact same time... in a different terminal... where the gates were currently closing. Did I mention that that was the last flight that would get us to the game on time?

We sprinted to the other terminal and just barely made it on the plane prior to take-off. We landed in Barcelona on-time only to find that one of our bags did not make it. We finally left the airport one hour later and made it to our apartment at around 1:45 PM. Check-in was at 3 PM, but we were allowed to leave our bags in the apartment. Once we went up, Cate began to fell ill and complained that her stomach hurt. No doubt sleep deprivation and 16 hours of travel were contributory. Moments later, she was vomiting in the bathroom. She felt better afterwards, and so we decided to forge ahead and go to the game.

When we got into the taxi, Cate began to moan and complain about her stomach again. She was half asleep all the while, which made the scene even more troubling. I pictured the mess she might make in the back seat, and I struggled to remember the phrase for "I'm Sorry" in Spanish in case she threw up. 

Ultimately, Cate did not vomit, and we arrived safely. Cate pretty much passed out as we made our way into the stadium. However, she woke up right before game time one hour later. She was a new person after a bottle of Sprite and a hot dog!

We made our way to our seats, and we were dumbfounded when we finally found them. The seats were in the VIP section in the second row at the exact mid-field line right behind the players' bench. 

My jaw dropped, and we enjoyed watching the players warm-up and converse with each other. There was also a ceremony for Lionel Messi, Barca's forward and the best player on the planet. Messi was presented with the "Golden Shoe" award for the player who scored the most goals in a top European League, and he was literally ten feet away from us!

By the way, the game was incredible with Barca triumphing 4-0! A video is shown below from the club's website.

All in all, it was one of the best experiences of my life. Joy is the word that comes to mind to describe how I felt, particularly after all the challenges prior to the game. 

I am not one who believes in fate. However, there were far too many favorable turns of events leading up to the game.

Simply put, we were meant to be there. I am truly grateful to Messrs Farris and Garzo, to Ms. Caitlin Wilson from our cancer institute, and to all the stars that aligned to make that exceptional day a reality!