Last week, Nicholas and I spent a week in Portland catching up with old friends. Cate and Kathleen did not come because Cate had an upcoming soccer tournament and did not want to miss training.
In many ways, this trip was much less frenzied and rushed than usual because it was just the two of us and since we spent the whole time in Portland, rather than part of the trip in Central Oregon, too. This time, we were able to see one friend or friend group per day for an extended amount of time and spend the rest of the day with our friends, the Tais with whom we were staying.
Leading up to the trip, we had heard or read a lot about Portland's problems with crime, homelessness, and income inequality increasing. We braced for the worst about the place we loved and once called home. On the ground, we did notice many of these problems. However, we were also able to appreciate the many charms Portland still has - principally because of all the friend we still have there with whom we made so many amazing memories.
As we re-connected with so many of these folks - some of whom I had not seen since our move four years ago - I was struck by many things. First, it was amazing how seamless our conversations were and how time and distance had not made our bonds grow weaker.
Second, there is still so much beauty in Portland and plenty of dairy-free food options!
Third, Forest Park is still a miraculous place to lose one's self and get in an amazing workout. Finally, I am blessed to have such amazing friends and to have lived the life I did in Portland. In so many ways, I came of age there and developed new tastes and passions. Portland probably changed me more than any other city in which I have lived, and I have the fleece and running gear to prove it.
As I reflect on my current life vs. my past life, I am struck by what is the key to happiness and joy - emotions that were in abundance so often last week. One cannot feel those emotions without familiarity and intimacy, without a shared history and memories made together. That is what I have missed so much these past four years and what I have yet to find here outside of work. I am not sure I will find that again in the same way because the 12 years I spent in Portland will be very hard to match.
What I can say is that to thrive, one needs to have more friends where one lives, or one needs to lives by one's friends. That is the secret sauce!
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