A LIFE LEFT UNFINISHED BUT LIVED IN FULL

Tonight, the Arbor community received word that one of its parents - Kara Larson - passed away after a year-long battle with cancer.

I did not know Kara until her diagnosis, but afterward I had the pleasure of meeting her and her husband John. Kara's vitality and their love for each other was very powerful, and I was truly inspired every time we met or spoke. Their son Will rides the bus with our kids, and he always struck me as a very quiet but kind soul. Unlike your average seventh grader, he was also coping with his mom's illness, but his attitude and his demeanor were always very level. That is as much a tribute to him as to his parents and their unconditional love for him.

I lose patients all the time, but it never gets easier or becomes rote. This is because each patient is an individual who had his/her own hopes and dreams and story that is still unfolding. While I was not Kara's doctor or know her well, I know that she was someone who made a big difference - in the lives of her family, her friends, and customers of her dress and toy shops in Northeast Portland. Hers is a tale that remains unfinished and that was sadly cut short. However, I know that Kara will live on through John and Will and that Kara knew that there could be meaning in her death. In fact, the message announcing her passing included an exhortation to "be more present, spend more time with family, and follow our dreams." What more is there in life, really?

Today, even before receiving word of Kara's passing, I came home early from work. This was because Nicholas had sent me a text message that he wanted to play together at the park. Nothing seemed more important than that at the time, and I am so glad I came home to him.

I know that life is too short for us all and that life is until further notice. Because of that, we must make the most of the time we have together and treat each other as though each encounter may be our last. I think that is something Kara knew far before she became ill, and it is a message that no one has made more clear to me than Kara through her words and deeds.  I promise we will look out for your boys and that we will heed your words and follow your example Kara. May you rest in peace.

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER ASTONISHING PERFORMANCE

Barca won its 28th Copa del Rey trophy this past weekend, their fifth trophy of this season's campaign. It was a very different sort of victory because the team went down a player beginning in the 36th minute after Mascherano was justly sent off for a foul on a Sevilla forward right outside the box.

Barca did not have time to feel sorry for themselves and quickly organized into a makeshift lineup whose sole purpose was to defend. Again, it was a very un-Barca performance for a team that is most comfortable attacking with the ball.

The team held out, and the score was 0-0 at the end of 90 minutes. Shortly thereafter, Sevilla had a player sent off for a last-ditch challenge of their own, and then we found ourselves on a level playing field: 10 vs. 10. Barca then poured it on and fought hard to kill the game in extra time in order to avoid penalties. In the first of two overtime periods, Messi sent a beautiful 40 yard ball into the path of Jordi Alba, who was heading toward the goal. Alba deftly slotted the ball home, and the Catalans never looked back. Neymar added another - again set up by Messi - in the dying seconds, and we all breathed just a little bit easier.

It was unconventional. It was uncanny. However, it was also inspiring. This team found a way to overcome the most difficult of circumstances and triumphed once again. While I should not be surprised at this point, I am inspired. It almost seemed like they took a page out of Nicholas' book - resilience, pride, steel. Visca Barca!

RESILIENT AND GUILELESS

It has been over one week since Nicholas found out he was not selected for the competitive soccer team. Since the day after finding out, he has been doing remarkably well and seems to have realized that there are other important things in life.

On several occasions since then, grown-ups have inadvertently asked Nicholas whether he played soccer or how he was enjoying his competitive soccer experience. My heart skipped at beat on these occasions. However, Nicholas matter-of-factly answered that he used to play competitive soccer and that he recently tried out again but was not selected. There was no sadness in his voice or change in his demeanor. He simply stated the fact rather than seeming to make a shameful revelation.

I am so in awe of this young man who has the fortitude to not perseverate or ruminate on this most-disappointing of challenges. I am nothing like this unfortunately and cannot look past failures or misfortunes. I wish I had his strength, and I am truly inspired by Nicholas. No guile. No obfuscation. What you see is what you get, and what you get is one hell of a person - my best friend.

SURVIVING LIFE’S CURVEBALLS

Last week it is was time for Nicholas to try out again for the competitive soccer team. He had tried out the last three years and had been selected each time.  In previous years, Nicholas had returned home confident that he was going to make the team. Therefore, we were somewhat concerned when he stated that he was afraid he was not going to make the team after completing the two-day tryout this time. Nonetheless, I told Nicholas that all one can do is try one's best effort and hope for that things work out 

Early the next day, I received an email stating that Nicholas had not been selected for the team. I was heartbroken for the little guy and spent much of the day trying to find a way to tell him. Finally, I decided to talk to him while we were lying in bed about to start reading our books. I first said that I had heard back from the coach. Nicholas immediately came to life and asked what the email said. I told him that he was not selected, to which he responded, “Are you serious?”

It took a few seconds to sink in, but he was soon in tears. He cried in a way that I have not seen since he was a baby – inconsolably. I told him that I was so sorry but that I was proud of him for having the courage to stick his neck on the line and try out when so many of his current teammates had decided to play it safe and not try out again. I told him that I, too, had been in the same situation and was cut during basketball tryouts three years in a row in middle school.

At this point, I paused and asked Nicholas how he felt and what specifically made him so upset. He said that soccer was a huge part of his identity. He said that so many of his friends from school were competitive soccer players who surely were selected during their tryouts. He said he felt like he was able to do the same drills as the other kids during the tryout and that he never got a chance to show his skills during the scrimmages because he never got the ball. Still sobbing, he wondered aloud whether this verdict would mark him for life and meant that his soccer-playing days were over.

I reminded Nicholas that I knew no one who loved the game of soccer more than him – not just playing the game but also studying its players, its teams, and its history. I told him that his love and knowledge of the game had very little to do with being on a competitive team, and I told him that his playing days were far from over. As I held him, he continued to sob. Eventually though, he calmed down and said that he wanted to dedicate himself to improving and trying out again.

I told him that we would look into recreational soccer teams in the neighborhood in the meantime and still play futsal with his friends from Arbor. I even invited him to play pick up soccer with my friends the next day. Finally, I told Nicholas that there are two ways to look at a life event like this. One approach is to feel sorry for one’s self. Another approach is to realize that when one door closes, another door opens. I told him that there were so many additional passions he might now pursue – art, basketball, track and field, frisbee, swimming – none of which have been possible with the year-round schedule of competitive soccer. Nicholas acknowledged these new possibilities and seemed genuinely excited at the prospect of cultivating a new interest.

The next day we did go to the pitch to play pick up soccer. There were several instances when I noticed that Nicholas was being passive and not fully immersed in the game. I gave him the feedback in real-time, which prompted him to play harder and be more engaged. He scored a wonderful goal from the end line from an impossible angle that all the players marveled at. In fact when we were leaving, one of the men asked me Nicholas’ name. I told him, and he said, “Nicholas, that was a great shot. Keep it up!” This brought a huge smile on Nicholas' face.

As we walked home, I put my arm around Nicholas. I realized that I could not solve Nicholas’ setback this time and secure him a place on the team as much as I would have liked to. I still feel absolutely gutted for him. However, as the days have passed, Nicholas has not mentioned his disappointment again. He seems to have realized that there are many more important things to concern himself with, that he is still special, and that the future is still very bright. 

I do not know where Nicholas gets his strength and his resilience – though no doubt Arbor has played a huge role. However, I take great solace in knowing that Nicholas will be able to summon the fortitude to bounce back when life throws its next curve ball at him. As a parent, I cannot wish for more than that for my son.

BEAUTIFUL TEAM

I unwittingly discovered tonight that my futsal team won the weekend Coed League Championship. I was not expecting this title because we had lost two of our eight games this season. That is not to say that we play badly, but we were tied with the top team going into the final game, and the other team had the advantage through goal differential. 

Despite thinking that the league was lost, we went out and put on a show in our last game. We pinged the ball around the pitch and played aggressive defense. The other team was forced into errors that we converted into several goals in succession. At halftime, we led 7-1, and the game ended 9-4.

It was quite a different night from two weeks prior when we played the team that were the league leaders going into the final match. That team played us with force and physicality that I have never witnessed in futsal-a game that is supposed to be non-contact. We were crushed 7-0 that night, mainly because we had been intimidated into making mistakes. We repeatedly gave up the ball out of fear of being kicked if we held on to it for too long. 

We got our revenge, however, the following week in a rematch with our tormenters in the penultimate game of the season. This time, we refused to bend and redoubled our efforts to attack as a unit and move the ball quickly-so quickly that by the time they came to kick us, the ball had already been passed. We triumphed 4-3 in one of the best games our team has ever played. Even Nicholas was impressed. After that game, he said, "Dad, you were really impressive, and that other team was so rough. I do not know how you did it." He was still buzzing about our win the next day and the day after. I was, too, to be honest!

If there is any downside to playing on my team, it is that one gets spoiled. Every person on the team plays his/her heart out and deeply cares about their teammates. It is unlike any other group with which I have ever played, which makes it hard to play with different folks in pick-up games or the like. 

My team always rises or falls as one, but this season we just rose. Here 's to my team-Arse-and-all-a play on words for the ever-undeachieving English side Arsenal, and here's to another title!

FAIRY TALE ENDING

The Premier League has been called the most difficult league in the world. In recent years, the only teams to have prevailed in this league were from Manchester or London. However, something strange happened on the way to the title this year. Leicester City are your 2016 English Premier League Champions!

To say that Leicester's story is a fairy tale would be the understatement of the year. In fact, Leicester was in dead last much of last season and only avoided relegation (demotion to a lower league) on the last day of last season. It was no wonder then that the odds makers gave Leicester a 5000:1 chance of winning the Premier League. But the odds makers did not take into account what a new manager could do with an able-bodied team whom many other clubs had treated as cast-offs.

That manager-Claudio Ranieri-had been a journeyman, managing for almost thirty years without ever winning a domestic title. However, he unified his team and helped them to realize that they could beat any side if they just believed in themselves and worked together. Worked, they did, outrunning, outthinking, and outplaying the best teams in England. So it was quite fitting that Leicester would clinch the title with two games left in the season. That meant that they could celebrate with their fans on the penultimate game of the season-their last home game versus Everton.

Fittingly, the crowd was celebratory. Andrea Bocelli, the great Italian singer was in attendance to serenade Ranieri and the Leicester faithful with "Nessun Dorma" and "Time to Say Goodbye." Bocelli did a riff on the latter and sang, "Time to Win Again." The Foxes, as Leicester are known, obliged and ran Everton into the ground.

There was free beer and pizza for the fans, and it was a day that few who were present will ever forget.

Leicester may never win the Premier League title again, but that does not matter. For one magical season, they were head and shoulders above every team in the toughest league in the world. This story is one for the ages, and one almost needs to be pinched to remind one's self that it actually happened.

Here's to Leicester! Thanks for a season we shall not soon forget-truly one straight out of the children's books but that will go down in the history books!