SAYING THANK YOU BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE

One of my dear patients recently went on hospice. We met each other over eight years ago after I first started at my current job, and therefore it was very sad to say goodbye.

Mr. S. was one of the most selfless patients whom I have ever met. He enrolled in over four clinical trials in his lifetime. Moreover, he was always kind and courteous to me and the entire staff. He always thanked me even when the news I had to deliver was not what he wanted to hear.  He even brought in donuts for the nursing staff on days he received chemotherapy. When I got word of this, I said jokingly to my nurse, "Where is my glazed donut?" She shared this anecdote with the patient, and thereafter he made sure to include a glazed donut earmarked for me whenever he brought treats in.

Our last clinic visit was quite sad. I told him that I was sorry that the day had come when I could do no more to treat his cancer. I told him that I would continue to treat his symptoms with palliative care and hospice but that cancer medicines would cause more harm than good. We said our goodbyes and gave each other a good, long, tearful hug.

A few weeks later after he enrolled on hospice, my nurse told me that he had invited her to a party that his RV club was putting on for him. Camping and RV'ing were one of his main hobbies, and we often planned our treatments around these trips. In the party, he told his friends how lucky he was to have them and how grateful he was for the care he had received. He told my nurse that he could really sense how hard it was for me to give him the news about hospice and how much I felt for him.

After hearing this story, I decided to reach out to him before it was too late. I always send a note to families after patients pass away, but in this instance I felt the need to reach out to the patient, himself. I sent him a card that described my admiration for him.  I told him that anything I did for him paled in comparison to everything he had taught me about grace, class, and resilience - especially when faced with a terminal illness. I told him that I drew strength from him and that he was the reason I wake up every morning asking myself the same question: what will you do to cure cancer today? The answer is always the same - never enough and not soon enough. Godspeed Mr. S.