Tonight we received word from the private elementary schools to which we had applied for Nicholas (OES "Aardvarks," Catlin Gabel "Eagles," and Arbor School (pictured above)- I have made up the nickname "Trees.") One was a thick envelope, one was rather thin, and another was in the form of a phone call. However, the result from each was the same: ACCEPTED.
It has been 2 long months since we started this process (although it feels like 2 years have elapsed). During this time, we filled out applications to 3 private schools, each of which had an average of 8 essays, went to 5 open houses, and did 4 school tours. Additionally, Nicholas had a student assessment at each of the private schools. It was exhausting, but going through this clearly revealed to us what we value in our children's education and the environment in which we think Nicholas would learn best.
The schools all had their strengths and their weaknesses, and none was perfect. However, the most glaring difference was between the public and private schools. While the private schools, for the most part, bent over backwards to be accommodating or to answer our questions, we found that the leadership at the public schools had a "yes, we can't" attitude, in which attempts to woo us or inspire us were non-existent. Mind you, I was not looking for someone to give me preferential treatment, but I did want them to try to convince me that their educational environment was better than anything else in the city and why. The public schools did not even try, which made me concerned about how much they would try to engage us, respond to our concerns, and go the extra mile for our kids if we had enrolled there. I realize that these conclusions are based upon very little information and little more than my gut instinct, but, in the school choice game, I think one's gut is everything as there are no clear predictors of a great education save great teachers, which are not easy to identify as a prospective parent...
In his piece entitled “Getting In," which I read several years ago in the New Yorker and which I was compelled to re-read during our time on the "circuit," Malcolm Gladwell writes about how elite Ivy League institutions have traditionally marketed themselves and selected applicants. He quotes a social scientist who believes that they rely on “selection” effects, which roughly translate to: “you don’t become beautiful by signing up with a (modeling) agency. You get signed up by a modeling agency because you are beautiful.” Conversely, he describes the Marine Corps as a “treatment” effects institution: “It’s confident that the experience of undergoing Marine Corps training will turn you into a formidable soldier.” The former philosophy speaks to what an individual can do for an institution, while the latter philosophy speaks to what an institution can do for an individual. I now believe that Mr. Gladwell’s description of educational options represents a false choice as some schools truly defy this mold.
We were not seeking a school looking for perfection, and we do not wish to perfect Nicholas. Rather, we were hoping that he would be selected for admission at a school that considered his gifts and challenges as a soon-to-be kindergartener and which would positively influence his development. We hoped that he would matriculate in a school that valued learning, both about one’s self and about one’s place in and responsibilities to this world, and that valued diversity of opinion, experience, and background rather than a pre-conceived ideal. We believe that we found at least 2 schools that fit this bill.
Indeed, we were been struck by the degree to which staff, graduates, and parents, with whom we spoke and interacted from these 2 schools, uniformly seemed to espouse this philosophy: what can both the school (embodied by its students and staff) and the individual student (and his/her family) do to ensure that they both thrive?
It was amazing to find schools where we believe Nicholas may grow into the young man whom he has the potential to become and where the success of his education will not be measured in standardized test scores or Ivy League admissions notifications [although those would be great, too :)] but in the content of his character and the ability to think for himself and discover his own calling in life.
Now, we just have to decide....
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