THE GREAT DETACHMENT

In today's New York Times, David Brooks weighs in on what he views as one of the biggest challenges human being face - loss of connection and the accompanying feelings of loneliness and isolation - that he calls the great detachment.

In one of the more poignant lines from that piece, he writes, "We all need energy sources to power us through life, and love is the most powerful energy source known to man." I have admired Brooks' writing greatly over the years - even quoting him in the two endowed chair speeches I have given to date - but this sentence profoundly resonates with me. 

The moments in my own life that were most profound were times of joy or grief shared with other people. In those moments, we were able to process the enormity of what we had experienced together, and we left feeling closer and better understood. These moments include my wedding witnessed by one of my best friends, the birth of my children, the death of my niece Jasmine, and countless clinic visits processing good news and bad with patients. In those times, I have never felt less alone and more purposeful.

These days, I often find those types of moments of attachment to be more rare. Work is more fragmented and disconnected with pressures coming from multiple sides. Nearly all my friends live somewhere other than here. My children are getting older and spreading their wings, which is precisely what is supposed to happen. However, that does not mean it is easy for parents like me!

So what is the antidote to this era of detachment? The answer plainly is to live and work closely with other people we care about and to share pursuits in which the self is dissolved into the collective. This is the elixir for the detachment plague we face. I cannot think of an intervention more vital right now.