GRATEFUL

Today, I was scheduled to see one of my dearest patients who was nearing the end of his life. However, today he suffered a fall at home and was taken to an outside emergency room. A scan revealed a subdural hematoma - bleeding between the skull and the dura, or lining around the brain. Fortunately, Mr. H was stable in the hospital, and neurosurgical intervention was not required.

I called his wife during his scheduled appointment time, and she said they were hoping to get answers to a few questions about the end of his life by. Since the outside hospital was near my home, I told her I would just stop by to see them in their hospital room. 

There were many things I could have been doing this Friday evening, but nothing seemed more important than meeting with this family tonight. I met with them and their son and answered all their questions. I gave them all hugs as I left for the evening. 

As I was leaving, his wife thanked me for everything I had done for them. With tears in my eyes, I thanked her everything they had given me. What I could not enunciate in that moment was what exactly I was grateful for. A few hours later, the reasons seem much more clear.

Mr. H and his wife were in their early seventies, but I could tell from our conversations that they supported progressive causes, had a strong sense of justice, and that they were interested in trying to make the world a better place. No doubt this was shaped by their life experiences and the way they were raised. There was an affinity and an understanding between us that I have found to be extremely uncommon in my own life with the average person.

One might have guessed that Mr. H reminded me of my own father. However, what really drew me to Mr. H and his wife was that they made me think about myself - the person whom I hope to grow up to be and the marriage I hope to say I had at the end of my life. Needless to say, I have a long way to go to come close to approaching them.

They say it is better to give than receive, but even a lifetime of caring for extraordinary men and women like this family will never repay the debt that I owe these wonderful families for what they teach me every week. Tonight, I was reminded of that debt and how I am obligated to pay forward the kindness and example of patients like Mr. H and his wife with my own patients and my friends and family. That is the least I can do for those who have given me so much. What a life.