PROMOTION/DEMOTION

Nicholas' soccer coach asked to meet with us last week to review his progress over the summer season. I was not quite sure what to expect when I received the email, but I had an idea.

The soccer club Nicholas plays for has four levels, and Nicholas was playing on the black team, the third of the four tiers. The coach said that he enjoyed having Nicholas on the black team, but he thought that Nicholas was better suited for the lower team. This decision was mainly based on Nicholas' lack of aggressiveness and inability to make quick decisions in attack. I had witnessed exactly what the coach was describing on multiple occasions and told the coach that I agreed with the decision. 

After our conversation, the coach invited Nicholas in and shared the news with him. The coach was very thoughtful and used the right mix of motivation and compassion when breaking the news to Nicholas, who was visibly upset. As Nicholas took in this information, I could see him choke up and fight back tears of embarrassment. The coach told him that this move was not permanent and that it was up to Nicholas to work his way back up to the third team. The coach also said that he thought Nicholas was a wonderful young man and cleared loved the game.

As a parent, this was heartbreaking to watch. My little guy who eats, breathes, and sleeps soccer was being demoted, and there was nothing that I could do about it. 

Later that night, we talked after reading bedtime stories. I told Nicholas that his experience that night is not unlike what many of us face each day. One has to work hard and earn one's place - whether it be in the workplace, at school, or on the pitch. He expressed understanding, but it was at this time that he began to tear up. 

I wiped away his tears and gave him a big hug. I shared my own stories of not making countless sports teams growing up, and I also reminded him that several of his friends had been too afraid of failure to even try out for the soccer team. Finally, I helped him remember that he plays quite aggressively whenever we go to the park to play soccer with Cate. Nicholas perked up and said he knew that he could do better.

I look forward to watching Nicholas no matter what color team he plays on, and I would not bet against this kid making his way back up the pecking order!