On the plane ride to Texas, I read - no devoured would be a more fitting description - Christopher Hitchens' posthumous memoir entitled Mortality. I found it somewhat uncanny that I read his book on December 15, 2012 - the exact one year anniversary of Hichens' death. May he rest in peace wherever he is.
In this book, Hitchens chronicles his struggle with metastatic esophageal cancer. His book is one of the most touching and moving descriptions of cancer that I have ever read, and I highly recommend it to you. By the end of an afternoon, you will have finished it, and you will be better off for having done so.
In case you are not familiar with Mr. Hitchens, he is a celebrated atheist and political and cultural critic. He famously decried belief in religion or God. He was a bold, boisterous thinker and speaker, and he made many enemies in his life. Not surprisingly, most of these enemies were on the right side of the political spectrum.
Hitchens' quick wit was matched by his taste for drink, smoke, and the fairer sex. He, himself, describes his hedonistic life in these terms: "In one way, I suppose I have been in 'denial' for some time, knowingly burning the candle at both ends and finding it often gives a lovely light." Poetic.
It is the juxtaposition of Hitchens' liveliness and the shear brutality of his cancer and cancer treatment that makes Mortality so compelling. For a man who does not believe in God or heaven, what drives one to fight for one's life? Simply put, it is love of life and all the people on this earth that make one's life worth living. In that sense, Hitchens is no different from any other cancer patient, but one can feel how much this life, the only life he believes matters or exists, means to him.
I always respect my patients' right to fight for whatever they believe and to believe in whatever helps them get through the day. However, as a non-believer, I found myself strangely drawn to Hitchens and his approach to cancer - clinical, practical yet hopeful, but never sacrosanct or pitiable. Bad things happen to all people. Life is not fair. No one beyond ourselves can be blamed.
Hitchens writes evocatively of living dyingly with cancer. It is a reminder for us all who are well to live livingly, to enjoy every breath, every sip, every taste, and every moment.
I quote another philosopher - the country singer Tim McGraw- when I attempt to inspire my patients who are in remission and those who are dying, alike. I use the most simple yet powerful aphorism I have ever heard.
Simply put, live like you were dying!
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