PROFILES IN COURAGE

Everyday I am struck by how brave my children are. This is especially true when I drop them off at camps or at school. When I was Cate's age, I had never been outside of the house alone. When I did start nursery school, or pre-K, at the age of four, I would cry every morning. On the other hand, our kids have been taken care of by other people since the age of four months.

You may not have ever heard of the term before care or after care. However, for our kids these are natural parts of their days- days spent outside the home. This morning, I dropped off Cate at her camp at school with an unfamiliar teacher. Cate was a little hesitant to go in and needed an extra hug, but she did go in without a fuss. Afterwards, I drove Nicholas to Zoo Camp.

We lined up to enter with the other families outside the gate. As I stood there in that queue, I was struck by just how independent and brave my kids are. Here, Nicholas was about to go into a situation where he knew no one and where he would spend the entire day. He did not have the least bit of trepidation. The forecast said it was supposed to get up to 80F that day, so I had dressed Nicholas in shorts. However, as we stood in line, it was quite chilly - 50F or so. Nicholas had his jacket, but pangs of guilt hit me.

I was not just upset that I had not dressed him appropriately. Rather, I was also sad about having to outsource so much of his upbringing and care to others. This is the price you pay for being a two-parent working family. This sacrifice is nowhere to be found in the medical school brochures.

I love my job and appreciate the flexibility of research. If I were in practice, like Kathleen, my hours would be worse, and a school or camp drop-off would be unimaginable.

Fortunately, Kathleen will be cutting back to three days per week this summer. I will also try to do a better job of being more engaged with the kids in the free time that I have. Their courage and self-reliance is inspiring, but it also makes one more than a little sad.