Today when I got home our nanny Grace asked Nicholas to tell me about his day. This is never a good sign. He was reluctant to share the events of the day, so Grace gave me the scoop.
Nicholas' teacher said that he had spit at a classmate today. I was floored by this news. I asked him to tell me why he would do such a thing to one of his best friends. Nicholas fought back tears and said that two of his friends from his class were playing with him at recess. At one point, everyone was having fun. However, later the two girls, who are quite fond of Nicholas, were trying to sit on him. He apparently was laughing at first but then wanted them to stop. He said he tried to run away but that they followed him. He said he was quite upset by this experience and later spit in the direction of one of the girls, who happens to be his best friend.
At this point, the tears were flowing, and I tried to comfort him while also giving him guidance on alternative ways he could have handled the situation (find a teacher, express in no uncertain terms your frustration with your words rather than your saliva, run away!). He said he understood this and would not do it again.
While I was firm with Nicholas, it was hard not to be sympathetic with him. He is one of the nicest and kindest children whom I have ever known, and he adores his school and classmates. Clearly, his feelings were hurt, and he felt as though he had no outlet. I tried to help him realize that their are always options but that one had to live with one's choices. He said he understood.
We wrote a card to his best friend. In it he apologized and explained how he felt. He also decorated it and attached a homemade necktie he made out of yarn. I am hopeful he will make up with his friend tomorrow and that this teachable moment will pass.
Whoever said childhood and parenthood was easy clearly had a charmed life without kids of their own....
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