MANDOLIN

Growing up, I never had the opportunity to learn a musical instrument. However, that has not stopped me from learning music as an adult. For the past 11 years, Nicholas has been a student of the mandolin. I have been fortunate to take lessons with him, and I began to seriously study the mandolin about five years ago - first in Portland and here in Ann Arbor for the past two years.

Nicholas' talent and ability to understand and interpret music is quite amazing. However, I have been making progress and find it easier to keep up with him when we practice together or do our lesson with our teacher. In some ways, mandolin is an escape - 30 minutes each week when I try to focus on the song at hand and block everything else out. Some weeks that is easier than others, but I nearly always come out of our lessons feeling refreshed with a sense of purpose and accomplishment - not because I played perfectly, but rather because I stepped out of my comfort zone and tried!

I hope Nicholas and I continue mandolin for years to come. Maybe one day I will become an expert. Even if I don not, you can bet that I will try my best and have a lot of fun along the way!

BAD THINGS DO HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE

This title is taken from a recent podcast from the Apsen Institute with the author and theology professor Kate Bowler. She was diagnosed with metastatic colon cancer in her thirties, which caused her to reflect on her own life. That thoughtful reflection was captured in her book, "Everything Happens for a Reason (And Other Lives I've Loved)." As an oncologist, parent, spouse, and parent, I found her words and personal story to be truly remarkable, and she presented a vision of life as a gift -  a vision that I constantly try to remember.

One simple thing I take from Ms. Bowler's writing and her words is that she wants us to be grateful for the things we will miss - when they go away - before they have actually gone. I wish that for all of us.

FULL CIRCLE

This weekend, Kate, one of my best friends from growing up, came to visit Ann Arbor with her daughter Lucy. It is hard to believe that we were Cate's age in seventh grade when Kate and I first met and became friends 35 years ago. 

A lot has happened since then - marriage, kids, careers, and moves. In so many ways though, my friendship with Kate over the years has been a mile marker for my life and how it continues to change.

 Our friendship causes me to reflect on the young teen, the college student, the medical student, the resident, the fellow, the attending and the single person, engaged person, and married person I came to be at various stages in my life.

For some, life is traveled in a straight line. However, my life has been an arc with ups and downs and tragedy and triumph. It is easy to lose sight of that boundless trajectory when one is trapped in a narrow world view focused solely on the day's or the time's present challenges. 

It is helpful to have people in our lives who remind us how far we have travelled and who we were before life shaped and re-shaped us time and time again. I hope you have people like that in your life - your friends, your spouse, or maybe your kids. We are the truly sum of our experiences with them. If we are lucky, we will continue to make memories and history with them as our lives come full circle, and we will never forget how fortunate we are to have them in our lives.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2021!

Yesterday was Halloween, which finally felt like a normal holiday. Yes, there were young children - presumable unvaccinated - in masks, but many kids, including our own, went out like a normal Halloween.

Nicholas was a Portland sports fan - just like he is everyday...

Thanks to the supply chain delays, Cate reprised her mad scientist look from 2019. Here she is with her best buds from across the street.

She looked smashing! Not only that, she returned with a heavy pillowcase of treats - perhaps her biggest haul ever.

Here's to some normalcy!

DRESSING UP AND GROWING UP

Of the various milestones in adolescence, attending one's first school dance would surely make the list. Tonight, I dropped off Nicholas at the Greenhills Homecoming Dance. 

When I asked him about whether he was going to go a few days back, he indicated he did not plan to. However, after speaking to several of his friends, he changed his mind and decided to go.

The invitation said "semi-formal" but also indicated that one could interpret that however one wanted. Nicholas opted to wear his suit with a pair of casual loafers and skipped the tie. I think he looked quite dashing!

Kids his age have missed out on so much this past year and a half due to the pandemic, so it was nice to see them have a night of frivolity where they might interact socially with their friends and perhaps meet new people and have fun. What a concept!

Nicholas does not talk about romantic feelings, but he commonly talks about the many injustices he believes women suffer. I would like to take some credit for his attitudes towards women, but I think the real credit goes to Kathleen for being such a great role model full of strength and character.

I hope Nicholas has a great time tonight and feels comfortable sharing how his night went in the days to come. He is a terrific young man who is slowly becoming more and more independent. We do not have much longer with him under our roof - and possibly in our state - but we will enjoy every minute while we can. 

Though I spent many weekend days at work while he was growing up, I rarely work on a weekend anymore. I nearly always attend his soccer games and other activities, and I am grateful that my career in academics has given me the flexibility to spend as much time with him as I have. 

Though I will miss Nicholas when he is gone, I won't look back and regret moment after moment that I missed out on because I prioritized spending time with him and Cate. I can't think of a better use of my time than that!

THE IN BETWEEN TIMES

This past weekend, we travelled to Minnesota to celebrate Kathleen's niece's graduation and to see her family after a nearly two year hiatus. We took in some local sites, including a local ice creamery, mini golf, and a Minnesota United soccer game. What I was struck by - in this state with a higher than average vaccination rate - was the near complete absence of masking - outdoors, indoors, and even at the crowded stadium. Mind you, my immediate family and I wore masks, but we were the outliers.

As cases surge in other parts of the country, it felt strange to be in a place where time seemed to have stood still - a state not quite like the before times but that was also clearly not a state of emergency with an even more contagious variant running rampant.

Perhaps these people understood something I did not - that their risk of death or hospitalization was low and that they were going to live it up until the next time things got so bad that a shutdown or retreat to virus mitigation strategies was required. 

It was interesting to contemplate their perspective, but wearing a mask did not feel like a step back to me. Rather, it felt like the responsible thing to do for my patients, my family, and my community. I realized that I cannot control anyone else's decisions, but I can control mine. Let us hope that this summer of content does not rapidly deteriorate into our fall and winter of discontent.

GRACIAS LEO

Today, August 8, 2021, Lionel Messi left Football Club Barcelona. It is a day we all imagined would come eventually when Messi retired. However, Messi's departure today was for another reason - the inability of the club to re-sign him because of debt and wage issues despite his agreement to take a 50 percent pay cut to stay.

There have already been many columns written today or in recent days about how the past two Barca presidents have mismanaged this club and drove it into the ditch. This post will not tread on the same ground. Rather, I would like to use this space to explain just what this man has meant to me for the past 11 years.

I first heard the name Messi in the 2010 World Cup. In previous editions of the World Cup, I had watched the final match, but 2010 the first World Cup that I followed as a true fan of soccer. Though Argentina underperformed - mainly due to the mismanagement of the team by former icon Diego Maradona - Spain sent the tournament on fire, and I became an instant fan of the way they played. Little did I know that the core of the Spanish National Team was built around Barca players - like Xavi and Iniesta - who played back in Spain with Leo Messi.

That 2010-2011 season I began to follow Barca religiously, and I was awe-struck every week by the connection these players had with each other. In retrospect, their understanding of each other was not surprising since so many of them came up through Barca's academy - La Masia - and had been playing with each other for almost a decade.

Leo did not just inspire me to become a fan. He also inspired me to start playing the game. I remember coming across a pick-up game in Grant Park as I was out for a run. Somehow, I got up the courage to try to join in, and I remember there was a player named Andy Shaw who encouraged me and gave me a few tips in my first outing. Needless to say, I was awful but also undeterred.

From there, I began to play pick-up with this crew most weeks, and this was the time Nicholas began to play rec and ed soccer. Ultimately, I became one of the coaches, and Cate soon followed suit as a player. 

Our shared love of soccer and Barca has been one of the most meaningful things in my life, and we have made many pilgrimage to the Camp Nou where Barca play to see Leo and the team. Each time, there is something special that happens, and Leo is generally right in the middle of things!

There have been high and lows with the club, including the many "clasicos" against Real Madrid in which I knew Messi could turn the game on its head in just one move - and he often did - European nights of glory but also perfidy, and so many moments of greatness.

Messi gave his all and the best years of his life to that club, and on some level, he probably feels that this was reciprocal. Though he wished to move on last summer after years of mismanagement, he was forced to stay. This summer, though, he had decided to stay and had been assured that he could stay, but alas this was another promise unkept.

What struck me most at Messi's press conference today was the absolute absence of recrimination or blame. What did not surprise me despite the unfitting manner of his exit, was the bounty of tears Leo shed. One cannot spend 21 years with anyone or at any workplace and not feel love and allegiance, and those emotions were on full display. I, too, know about moving on, and I am sure Messi will land on his feet and make whatever new club he joins the best on the planet! The Mastercard advert from the picture below says it all; you are truly priceless!

As I reflect on all the magic of Messi's exploits, I am left with one word: joy. Perhaps the true test of a player's greatness is not what they did or how many trophies they won, but how they made you feel. No one has made me feel so much and for that Leo, gracias.