PAST LIVES

Last night we saw the new independent film, "Past Lives." It was one of the most profound movies I have ever seen and resonated with me on so many levels.

The story revolves around two Korean young people who grew up together in Seoul prior to one of the children emigrating to Canada. Their bond is temporarily broken, but they rediscover each other years later in young adulthood through - what else - Facebook. From there, their lives connect and disconnect again, but there is a bond that seems unshakeable despite distance and other personal entanglements.

I will not spoil the story, but the characters are drawn with such depth, complexity, and warmth that one cannot help but feel for them or root for them. In so many ways, I saw myself in these characters and thought about the choices I have made and the people I loved whom I left or who left me. 

While we only have one life to live, we have so many past lives that make up our histories. It is up to us to appreciate the past, look for all that we longed for from the past in the future, but also live in the present. While the bad stuff often comes back around, so, too, can the good stuff. We just have to be on the look out and appreciate and seize our chances if and when they come back around.

HOME IS WHERE THE FRIENDS ARE

Last week, Nicholas and I spent a week in Portland catching up with old friends. Cate and Kathleen did not come because Cate had an upcoming soccer tournament and did not want to miss training. 

In many ways, this trip was much less frenzied and rushed than usual because it was just the two of us and since we spent the whole time in Portland, rather than part of the trip in Central Oregon, too. This time, we were able to see one friend or friend group per day for an extended amount of time and spend the rest of the day with our friends, the Tais with whom we were staying.

Leading up to the trip, we had heard or read a lot about Portland's problems with crime, homelessness, and income inequality increasing. We braced for the worst about the place we loved and once called home. On the ground, we did notice many of these problems. However, we were also able to appreciate the many charms Portland still has - principally because of all the friend we still have there with whom we made so many amazing memories.

As we re-connected with so many of these folks - some of whom I had not seen since our move four years ago - I was struck by many things. First, it was amazing how seamless our conversations were and how time and distance had not made our bonds grow weaker. 

Second, there is still so much beauty in Portland and plenty of dairy-free food options! 

Third, Forest Park is still a miraculous place to lose one's self and get in an amazing workout. Finally, I am blessed to have such amazing friends and to have lived the life I did in Portland. In so many ways, I came of age there and developed new tastes and passions. Portland probably changed me more than any other city in which I have lived, and I have the fleece and running gear to prove it.

As I reflect on my current life vs. my past life, I am struck by what is the key to happiness and joy - emotions that were in abundance so often last week. One cannot feel those emotions without familiarity and intimacy, without a shared history and memories made together. That is what I have missed so much these past four years and what I have yet to find here outside of work. I am not sure I will find that again in the same way because the 12 years I spent in Portland will be very hard to match.

What I can say is that to thrive, one needs to have more friends where one lives, or one needs to lives by one's friends. That is the secret sauce!