HE'S IN

We found out late last week that Nicholas was accepted to the Portland City United (PCU) soccer development academy. His team is the "Hotspurs" or "Spurs" for short. The team name is taken from the Tottenham Hotspurs of the English Premier League.

This past weekend was his first game. The Spurs were missing one player, and so it was seven vs. eight. The other team quickly scored twice, and so the Spurs were down 2-0 early on. However, Nicholas scored two goals, and the Spurs salvaged a draw. What a comeback!

It is said that it is good luck to score on one's debut. Luck or skill, who knows? I am just happy that Nicholas is enjoying himself and that he will learn to play the beautiful game the right way from the ripe young age of eight!

Watch out Messi! Nicholas selected your number 10 for his player number!

TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS

Nicholas is quite the soccer aficionado, and he has been playing on youth recreational teams for the past three years. He recently expressed an interest in playing "classic," or club soccer to improve his skills and play more competitively. Therefore, I signed him up for a local soccer development academy. 

When I did so I expected that the academy would simply accept young motivated boys like him who had the drive to improve. However, I did not realize that there is a trial process of selecting players until after I signed him up. I mentioned this to Nicholas, and he seemed unfazed. However, I was quite concerned by this prospect.

What if he was not invited to join the program? If he did make the team, would he lose his love for the game because of twice weekly practices and because he might be one of the less gifted players. 

In the end, I decided to put those fears aside. If Nicholas was not worried, why should I be? 

I look forward to his first session tomorrow, the player assessment. I know Nicholas will give it his all, listen attentively, and show his passion for the game. However things work out, I will be on his side, and he will have many more years of playing in our backyard, recreationally, or in classic! 

Viva Nicholas!

DEATH AND DYING

I had a very poignant encounter with a dear patient Mr. --- last week. I first met him over two years ago when he presented with advanced prostate cancer. We tried a number of approved therapies, and he enrolled in at least 3 clinical trials of investigational agents in that time. 

Unfortunately, his cancer continued to grow despite all of our attempts. He had pretty significant anemia from his cancer that was palliated by blood transfusions. The need for transfusions precluded enrollment in hospice, and so I continued to see him back in the office periodically.

Last week I met with him to check his blood counts and see how he was doing. He was accompanied by his "lady friend" (his term of endearment for his girlfriend) and his devoted daughter and her husband. He looked much more weak than his last visit, and he was not requiring a walker. He had recently moved into an assisted living facility and planned to close on the sale of his house later that week.

During the visit, Mr. --- reflected on the long life he had lived and that he knew the end was near. Next, he said something quite unforgettable and poignant at the same time. He said, "I am not afraid of death. It is dying that I have a problem with." He acknowledged that he thought death was part of life, but he feared a slow, drawn-out decline.  More than suffering, he feared loss of control and making a burden of himself. 

I confessed that I did not know how I would handle the same situation myself but that the honesty and clarity of his words had deeply touched me. We gave each other a big hug before we parted to have his blood drawn to measure his anemia. I think we both knew it would be the last time we saw each other. I choked back tears as I hugged his daughter on the way out the door. Whether one is 50 or 70, dying be not proud.

One death from cancer is one death too many.