MOURNING IN AMERICA

This morning my fellow Americans elected Donald Trump to the presidency again. When I woke up, I was praying the headline I saw on the New York Times on my IPad would have been anything but Donald Trump is President-elect, and yet it was not to be. 

There are far too many columns that will be written about why this happened, and so I will not attempt to cover the same ground here. What I will do is describe how absolutely sick so many people whom I love feel today. My friends reached out by text, email, and phone describing how despondent they were. The most common word I heard was "numb," as in I cannot feel anything at all - probably because grasping the full implications of his win would be too hard to swallow. 

I thought about my friend with a transgender teenager who must be asking, "what place will there be for my child in America, and where will he be able to get his health care next year?" I thought about my dad who said he did not recognize the country he brought us to 40 years ago anymore. I thought about the people in my lab who came to this country for the unparalleled educational opportunities but who now feel as though their long-term status here is in doubt. 

It was a clinic day, so I also thought about my older, white patients - many of whom probably voted for Trump - and what might have motivated these decent men to make such a choice. How would I meet them today, feeling so much hurt and disappointment? 

In many ways, clinic was exactly what I needed today. Like every week, every patient was kind, thankful, and respectful. They acknowledged my humanity and appreciated that I did the same with them. There was an unspoken trust that only time and familiarity can create. In short, they made me hopeful that we are not as divided a people or as broken a nation as we think. Our differences pale in comparison to our similarities, and our destinies are often unwittingly tied together with those whose paths we could only cross on this greatest and most diverse nation on earth. 

I wish I could wave a magic wand and create a different outcome, but I cannot. However, I do believe that we, the people from all sides of the political, racial, and religious spectrum are the only way we will solve our collective problems. With finite grief but infinite will, I will put one foot in front of the other and never give up on trying to make this country a better place for my kids and yours. What a country and world it would be if more of us felt and acted the same way?

I will leave you with this poem shared by my sister today. May it bring you some measure of solace. 

THE STING OF DEFEAT IN GOING FOR THE THREE-PEAT

Yesterday, Cate's soccer team, the Michigan Tigers, made it to their third straight State Cup Finals. They had won the prior two against a local team called Legends. However, this year they were playing Plymouth Reign, who knocked out Legends in the semifinal.

Plymouth has done better than us than most teams, and they knocked us out of the State Championships playoffs three years ago. We have drawn them on several occasions as well, and I am not sure we actually having a winning record against them.

The final was a contest of two very different styles. We play an expansive, attacking form of soccer, while Plymouth is content to sit back and park 10 players behind the ball in a zonal defense.

We made a mistake early on, giving them ball away in midfield that led to a quick counter and a peach of a finish by one of their forwards. At was 1-0 at halftime. 

We committed a foul in the box, which led to a penalty early in the second half. They dispatched the penalty with ease, making it 2-0.

With about 15 minutes left to play, we pulled a goal back. There was everything to play for. With a few minutes left, Cate got the ball in midfield and drove forward to the goal with a defender going toe to toe with her. She just got off a shot towards the near post that was not covered by the keeper. However, the shot skidded just wide. We were not able to put away other opportunities, and so the game finished 2-1.

I know that they entire team felt badly about the loss, but there is a reason why so few teams three-peat. I am sure they will build on this adversity and come back stronger and more deliberate next time. I feel privileged to watch these talented and poised young ladies play the game I love so much. Getting to see my favorite players of all time bring her creativity to the pitch is a privilege that I will never get tired of. We will get them next time, Tigers! 

THE KING OF ALL CAKES

Cate has turned into quite a baker, but she really outdid herself this weekend. She decided to make a King Cake - you know the kind they serve at Mardi Gras.

I have had a few of these in my life, but Cate's was honestly the best one I had ever had. So many layers and such flaky crust. A real work of art! Watch out, Ina Garten!

FORTNIGHT

We are now two weeks out until election day! It has been a whirlwind campaign season, and I will be so glad when it is done, provided that Kamala wins! 

I cannot believe that the race is still this close between one of the most qualified candidates in history vs. a convicted felon, self-described sexual predator, and chronic swindler. What the American people see in him and miss in her I will never understand.

I am not an optimistic person by nature, but I have to believe that 270 electoral votes worth of Americans will do the right thing! If they do not, it will not be a verdict on Kamala and her campaign. It will be a verdict on us all as Americans who put country and democracy last. When a tyrant tells you what they are going to do, believe him! I pray that enough of my fellow Americans believe his words and believe in each other enough to end his reign of terror.

If not? I'll see you in Canada.

SWEET 16

Cate turned 16 last week! Sixteen! Can you believe it? It feels just like yesterday when we brought that sweet child home in Portland to meet her big brother for the first time. Time flies!

It has also been five years since we moved here when Cate was starting fifth grade in a brand new school. I still remember her first day of school when she was adamant that she bike to school by herself. We had practiced a dry run on several occasions, but I was sure she would let me take her on on her first day because that had always been our tradition. However, Cate had other ideas. 

Somehow, she left me snap a picture of her before she headed out that day, and it still pulls at my heartstrings. A few moments later, she biked away. I am pretty sure I shed more than a few tears as it hit me just how brave my little girl was - a new city and a new school where she knew no one.

Last week, it was a different transition of sorts. Cate got her driver's license! On the day after her birthday (she was off on her actual birthday), she headed out in the morning to the Highlander. It was a cold morning, so first she had to defrost the windows. Once they were defrosted, she drove away all on her own.

Just as I am sure there is no preparation for parenthood, there is certainly no preparation for seeing your kids grow up and spread their wings. However, that is what we pray will happen when we raise them and try to teach them right from wrong and send them off into the world each day.

I could not be more proud of the amazing young woman Cate has become. She is passionate about her sports teams, her school work, and her friendships. She is loyal and kind. She is honest and does not take any shortcuts. She is the best of me and Kathleen without many of our shortcomings. 

I am so proud of you my sweet girl, Cate! I will love you until the day I die! I am so lucky to be your dad!

ROAD WARRIOR

While I was at Syracuse for Parents' Weekend, Cate was away another weekend with her travel soccer team - her second weekend trip to another state in two weeks. I was fortunate to join her with Kathleen last weekend as we traveled to Milwaukee and then Madison.

We were able to catch up to one of my good friends from med school, who lives in Milwaukee, and then it was on to a weekend of soccer!

Cate's team won the first game 3-2, coming back from two goals down. In the second game, we again went down but fought back an tied it up for a 1-1 draw.

More than just watching Cate's exploits on the field, I enjoy spending time with her and seeing new things. I realize she will be gone from our house in just three years, and I want to take in as much time as I can with her until then. 

I have seen with Nicholas just how quickly time flies, and before they both fly the coup, I will try to drink up every minute we have together. Life is a sweet gift, but it is until further notice.

51

Earlier this month, I celebrated another milestone - my fifty-first birthday. I am not one to think too deeply about birthdays or aging, but it is hard not to at my age!

In thinking about the 51 years I have spent on this earth, I am struck by how lucky I have been and what a wonderful life I have been blessed with.  My dream of being a doctor came true. I have been able to have the career I always dreamed of as an academic physician. My parents are both still well, and I get along with both of them. I love my siblings, and I have a wonderful wife and children, who are incredibly talented and who are growing into remarkable young adults.

I have been able to weather personal and physical challenges and am still able to get up each day and go for a run without limitation or discomfort and clear my mind. Because of my job and the people in my life, I have a better appreciation for the beauty of nature and the everyday kindnesses that are easy to take for granted.

Altogether, I feel very fortunate to have had the life I have had. I do not know when my last day will come. Let's hope it is not for a while! However, if it comes tomorrow, I will die knowing that I have been blessed by so many amazing people, places, and opportunities. I will try to remember this truth everyday - and not just around birthdays - and to appreciate all I have to be thankful for.