ANORA

Many movies focused on sex workers are either depraved downward spirals or Hollywood feel good stories. "Anora" is neither of this, and quite possibly the best film ever to tackle this subject matter. It is the best movie from 2024 that have seen!

At its core, the movie is about the American Dream and who gets to live that dream. Unless one is born into privilege and has the backing of one's family or extended network, achieving financial security and social stability is nearly impossible. Fundamentally, I believe those were the key issues that people voted on last year and that ushered the least qualified president in human history back into office.

The title, "Anora," is the name of the main character, who prefers to go by Ani. She comes from modest means, living in Brooklyn with her sister and earning a living as a stripper. When the son of a Russian oligarch offers her a way out, she leaps at it!

I will not divulge more details. However, what follows is partly a home invasion thriller, road movie, and a love story all rolled into one. That the director, Sean Baker, is able to seamlessly cover so much ground and keep the audience riveted during the the two plus hours of the film is quite remarkable.

See "Anora" to understand the time we live in now and to understand more about yourself. There is a humanity and a universality to Anora, and I find it hard to get this movie and its namesake out of my mind.

SEIZING THE DAY

Sometimes it is difficult to appreciate how quickly one's children are growing up. This was not one of those days. 

Cate left for a soccer tournament in Arizona on Thursday with Kathleen. The Tigers played their first game yesterday. Cate scored the first goal. After the other team pulled one back, Cate converted a penalty as cool as you like to make it 2-1!

The Tigers added a third to secure a 3-1 victory.

Beyond the win, though something even more important had been taking place behind the scenes. We were aware that there would be several college coaches attending the tournament to scout players. However, unbeknownst to us, Cate had reached out to one of the coaches from a highly selective school beforehand and expressed her interest in that school and that team. As a result, the coach came to see her play. 

What happened afterwards was even more astonishing. Cate went up the coach and introduced herself and shared her interested in the school and the subjects she was passionate about. He complemented her, talked about the academic advantages of the school, and invited her for a school visit. She was so excited afterwards that she called us from the car to let us know what had happened! I was in awe!

I could not be more impressed by Cate's proactiveness and her self-advocacy. Pursuing your dreams is scary, especially when one does not have a good guide who has navigated that terrain, themselves. I know I often struggle with putting myself out there due to imposter syndrome. However, I have learned time and time again that achieving one's dreams is 90% hard work and just showing up. The other 10% is about luck, but we make our own luck! 

I am so proud of this young woman, who is growing up before our eyes. I know she has a bright future ahead of her, and I feel so lucky to be able watch her grow and take off!

THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES

Today is Nicholas' last day of winter break. It has been wonderful having him home these past four weeks, and we definitely fit a lot in!

We traveled to Texas, where we celebrated Christmas and New Years together. We went on many walks together. We watched a ton of movies. My favorite was "Real Pain." We listened to many podcasts - particularly those from Pop Culture Happy Hour, reviewing the movies we had just watched. We went out to to eat. Indeed, this morning we headed downtown and had a wonderful brunch at Sava's. Afterwards, we headed to Starbuck's for a drink.

These quotidian moments are what I miss the most when he is gone - that and interacting daily with a close friend who understands and accepts me.

I will miss Nicholas these next two months until his Spring break, but I know that he has an exciting semester ahead of him with amazing classes, journalism opportunities, and college life. 

Life is about letting go, but it also about holding on to the simple but beautiful experiences we are fortunate to share with our loved ones everyday. I consider myself very lucky to have had nearly 20 years with this fine young man. I hope I get at least 20 more!

TOUCHSTONE

If we are lucky, we have certain people in our lives that become touchstones, a point of reference that helps to center and guide us. I am fortunate to have had several individuals like this from various phases of my medical training. These people have made all the difference when I faced challenges or was contemplating big life decisions. Dr. L. David Hillis (aka "LDH"), who was Internal Medicine Program Director during my time in Dallas and a key role model in my early career, is one of those touchstones.

Whenever we visit my sister during the holidays in San Antonio, I always check in to see if Dr. Hillis is free to catch up. Nearly every year he is available and seeing him is always a highlight of the trip. It is not just because we reminisce about the good old days. Rather, it is because he has such a wise and thoughtful perspective, having navigated academic medicine for 50 years at some of the top centers in the country. In addition to being a great leader, Dr. Hillis had the opportunity to be surrounded by some of the true giants in medicine, Dr. Eugene Braunwald, Dr. Donald Seldin, and Dr. Daniel Foster. These men were larger than life and clearly left a major imprint on him. I was fortunate to know the latter two, and I still remember them fondly and try to live up to their example. 

On this visit, I was grateful to have Dr. Hillis' advice as I contemplate how to chart this next phase of my career and decide how I can be most impactful and feel more purposeful. He provided clear guidance on what factors to consider while never telling me what to do. That is the hallmark of a great friend - one who helps you think about a problem without providing their own solution. 

Whenever someone from my field or my institution reaches out to me for advice, I think about the amazing touchstones I have had. I always take these meetings or calls and try to help that individual talk through what is one their mind in the same way Dr. Hillis might. That is a tall order, but it helps to have had such an amazing touchstone for the past 25 years!

SAN ANTONE

We have been coming to San Antonio for years since my sister moved here, but somehow every trip to this city feels special.

San Antonio exudes an ethos and pace that is refreshing in this world that is very self-centered and moving at 100 miles per hour. Here, there is a distinct feeling of community and blending of cultures and world views. Despite being the seventh largest city in the country, people appear to take the time to slow down, savor life, and enjoy time with their friends and families. At least, that is the feeling I get from observing people out and about in San Antonio.

I feel my heart beat slow do a little and the stress subside when I am in San Antonio. Maybe that is because I am not back home and away from all the pressure of the real world. Undercutting that is theory though is the fact that I have visited plenty of cities on vacation but none makes me feel this way. Perhaps it is the blend of family here, the city layout, the food, and the beauty of the Texas hill country. 

I will not try to explain San Antone. Instead, I will just enjoy it once again!

DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH

When I moved to Michigan five years ago, I gave up a lot of things - the least of which was my frequent flyer status on Alaska Airlines, my preferred airline back in Portland. Here in Michigan, I have been flying Delta almost exclusively. I graduated to the second highest frequent flyer status two years in. This year, unbeknownst to me, I was very close to hitting an even higher status- Diamond. However, it looked as though I would be a few miles short. 

I turned to my friend, Amit, who is a connoisseur of airline points. He recommended I take a "mileage run," taking a flight purely to wrack up the miles necessary to achieve the mileage status goal. Therefore, I booked a round trip flight to Chicago - on Christmas Eve, one of the busiest travel days of the year. I landed, spent an hour on the ground, and then headed home on the same plane that had brought me there. That trip, coupled with my flight to San Antonio the next day for Christmas, put me over the top!

In many ways this quest for Diamond Status parallels the hustling I have been doing these past few years to get back to where I was before the move or to soar to even higher heights. It has not been easy, and along the way, I have been humbled so many times. On this day, though, I could see how far I had come and exactly the ingenuity and countless miles it to took to get here. I'll savor this moment, knowing that the mileage clock and the achievement clock resets anew each year. Here we go again!

GROWTH

As a parent, one cannot perceive the change and growth in one's children unless there are away for a prolonged period of time or unless one really looks hard.

I had the same sensation last week at lab meeting when two of my trainees presented their project progress. Both had joined the lab nearly five years ago knowing virtually nothing about prostate cancer - and, in one way - virtually nothing about cancer, generally. However, on this day, both trainees demonstrated a clear command of the field, in general, the problems they were studying, and their own data and projects.

As I sat back and took it all in, a sense of pride washed over me. I was not happy because I felt as though I was responsible for their success. Rather, I felt happy because I appreciated just how responsible they had been for their own growth and development. I felt lucky to have these two on my team, knowing that the people in our lives, including our coworkers, are not forever.

I will try to remember this feeling on the hard days when things are not going to plan or individuals do not do their best or demonstrate the command I expect them to have. Growth does not happen overnight, and if we do not pay close attention we can miss it. On that day though, growth was on full display.