A LIFE CUT SHORT

Last month, Tatiana Schlossberg, the daughter of Caroline Kennedy and an environmental journalist, passed away. She was diagnosed with an acute myeloid leukemia in the immediate aftermath of giving birth to her second child less and passed way less than 18 months after being diagnosed. 

In the months following that diagnosis, she underwent multiple treatments, including two bone marrow transplants and experimental CAR-T therapy to target her recalcitrant cancer. She chronicled her experience as a cancer patient in a piece in the New Yorker entitled, "A Further Shore" that I found to be incredibly poignant. 

The piece was striking for the clarity of the medical history she recounted, but more importantly this essay brought to life the human toll cancer takes on far too many children, parents, and siblings - all categories to which Ms. Schlossberg belonged.

Though I have taken care of cancer patients as an attending for 19 years now, this piece made me truly appreciate the toll this disease takes on a patient and their family. There was not a single aspect of Ms. Schlossberg's life that was not turned upside down. 

Amidst her illness, she found herself remembering moments of the past both big and small. These surely served as touchstones for the life she once had and perhaps allowed an escape from the difficult circumstances she faced from her disease and treatment complications. 

After reading this piece, I was left with a much greater appreciation for the gift of health and how death is inevitable for us all. If we are lucky, we can look back on a life lived like Ms. Schlossberg full of passion, love, and dedication to causes bigger than ourselves. Rest in peace.

THE GREAT DETACHMENT

In today's New York Times, David Brooks weighs in on what he views as one of the biggest challenges human being face - loss of connection and the accompanying feelings of loneliness and isolation - that he calls the great detachment.

In one of the more poignant lines from that piece, he writes, "We all need energy sources to power us through life, and love is the most powerful energy source known to man." I have admired Brooks' writing greatly over the years - even quoting him in the two endowed chair speeches I have given to date - but this sentence profoundly resonates with me. 

The moments in my own life that were most profound were times of joy or grief shared with other people. In those moments, we were able to process the enormity of what we had experienced together, and we left feeling closer and better understood. These moments include my wedding witnessed by one of my best friends, the birth of my children, the death of my niece Jasmine, and countless clinic visits processing good news and bad with patients. In those times, I have never felt less alone and more purposeful.

These days, I often find those types of moments of attachment to be more rare. Work is more fragmented and disconnected with pressures coming from multiple sides. Nearly all my friends live somewhere other than here. My children are getting older and spreading their wings, which is precisely what is supposed to happen. However, that does not mean it is easy for parents like me!

So what is the antidote to this era of detachment? The answer plainly is to live and work closely with other people we care about and to share pursuits in which the self is dissolved into the collective. This is the elixir for the detachment plague we face. I cannot think of an intervention more vital right now.

PHOTO FINISH

One of our customs - or rather, my custom - when we travel is to have the waiter take a photo at dinner. This week we have been in Madrid, where Nicholas studied abroad last semester, and we have had many great meals already.

Today, we dined at a Thai place Cate picked out called Kai Thai, which was excellent! We ordered many of our favorites, asking for a medium level of spiciness. Turns out the Spaniards have a very different sense of spiciness as their medium was a good match for my mild level back home. 

As you can see, it was a great meal with great company. Some things never get old!

A PERFECT DAY

Yesterday was the perfect day. Nothing terribly momentous happened, but the day was filled with so many small but beautiful moments.

I started off the day with a run through the Arboretum. My watch did not sync my podcasts correctly, so I listed to an old Wilco mix. The foliage, the rushing river, and the neighborhood scenery were familiar and so comforting. 

Afterwards, Nicholas and I biked down to the racquet club, where Cate was working. We played tennis, and it was remarkable to see how much better he has gotten. If we had been keeping score, there is not doubt that he would have won! I gave him some tips on his backhand, and he made nice progress after changing up his form. I recommended he get a lesson. I think he has the makings of a great player!

In the afternoon, I spent some time at work trying to clear my head and think about how best to navigate the decision about the move. I was able to clearly see the pluses and minuses of moving forward and what I would be giving up.

I grilled turmeric chicken, and we had a lovely Middle Eastern dinner. Afterwards, we made s'mores, which were delightful! We watched the Copa America Final match with Brazil prevailing in penalties. 

I was able to connect with my old friend, Chap, who has been an incredible source of support and strength as I have faced head on what this move means for my life. I am so grateful to have such amazing friends.

As I lay my head on the pillow, I was able to appreciate just how good I have it. I was able to see all the small positives that added up to a day that felt perfect. I will hang on to this perspective and try to remember how there are so many perfect days - if only we can appreciate them.

NATIONAL CHAMPIONS!

The National Championships for youth soccer only come around once per year. This year was our third trip there, and the third time must have been a charm because Cate's Michigan Tigers 08 Girls Team finaly came away victorious!

It has been six years since Cate joined this club after our move to Ann Arbor. The first year, she was on their second team, but she quickly established herself and was promoted to the first team. Since that time, she has grown incredibly as a player and leader on the field. She plays central midfielder, which is like the quarterback of the team, and she is responsible for controlling play, starting attacks, and helping with defense. It is one of the hardest positions on the field, but she always excels in this position.

At Nationals, we swept the group stage without conceding a single goal. In the semi-final, we played our old nemesis, Plymouth Reign, who had knocked us out of Regionals in Kansas City one month earlier and who also beat us in the State Cup last Fall. Our girls had extra motivation for this match, and we took a 1-0 lead. Plymoith equalized, and the game headed in to extra time. In the second period, with just a few minutes left, Cate heaved a thunderbolt from near midfield. It clanged off the crossbar, and the keeper could not handle it. A teammate slammed the ball home for what would be the game-winning goal. The girls exploded in excitemnt at the game's conclusion, and a number of us parents embraced on the sidelines. They had slayed the dragon.

The final was much more comfortable as Tigers beat Ambassadors from Ohio 3-0. Cate was named "Player of the Match," as best player in the tournament for her age group. They even got some love from local media in a numbers of articles!

I am so proud of Cate and this team! It was a dream come true for Cate, and I am so glad I was able to witness it up close. 

This trip will go down as one of the most special of our 16 year soccer odyssey with Cate. Congrats, champions!

MEMORIES FROM THE MOUNTAINS

Dr. King famously talked about climbing to the mountaintop. Surely, he knew that the journey to the top with loved ones was much more important than the final destination. I can appreciate that sentiment after a wonderful week with our friends the Tais in Black Butte in central Oregon!

Kathleen has known the Tais for 30 years since medical school, and I first met them at their wedding when Kathleen and I were dating in the early 2000s during our time in Dallas. In Portland, we became even closer, as did our kids. In fact, whenever we get together, I always remark on how the kids seem much more like cousins than mere friends. Our trip to Black Butte, like our trips together with them there over the years, was no exception, even though their daughter was away for her job with the Peace Corps.

We took part in a variety of outdoor activities, including walks, pickleball, swimming, and scaling Black Butte. 

There were great meals thanks to Cindy and her son Noah, and fun television and board games, including a marathon match of "Catan." News flash, Noah won!

Sisters is the town nearest the resort, and we spent a few hours there, including a recent tradition ot getting pedicures, and a trip to the local coffeehouse, Sisters Coffee, which is always a treat! 

I look forward to seeing the Tais again and making it back to Black Butte! What amazing people and what amazing shared memories we have made there together!

A FRIENDLY PATTERN IN PDX

After Kansas City, we headed to the Pacific Northwest for some truly deserved R&R! We had a limited amount of time there, but we managed to fit in a few meetings with old friends and visits to some of our favorite places.

We stayed in the Northwest neighborhood. It's proximity to Forest Park allowed for a few runs on the Leif Erickson trail. Some of our favorite food places were nearby, so we got to take in biscuit sandwiches and amazing ice cream!

The Rose Garden was in full bloom, and we were fortunate to see and smell some beautiful blooms!

I am not sure when we will be back in PDX - or its amazing, refurbished airport. 

However, I look forward to touching down again soon and seeing the iconic PDX carpet. It turns out home has its own distinct pattern!